How To Approach Your Crush and Not Freak Him Out
CJ's got some good advice. Do you have the guts to try it? —Sparkitors
So, I've been reading a lot of these crush posts, and nobody really seems to point out the right way to talk to their crushes without freaking them, or getting freaked themselves. So I decided to toss in my two cents on the matter, but whether they matter/work or not is up to you.
Scenario 1: You're good friends with this REALLY REALLY HOT guy and can't figure out how to approach this celebrity without coming off badly.
Plan of attack: When the two of you are hanging out (preferably with few people around) let the conversation flow till you're both relaxed. Boldly pop the question "Hey, we've been friends for a while, and well.. I was wondering if we could like, hang out or something, just us two?" If that doesn't kick his Flirt Alert into high gear, then he's a real milk dud. There will be 2 results, either his flirting
brain will kick in and you'll at least get one date out of it, or he'll turn you down. What do you have to lose? If you wait, you'll lose him to someone else.
Scenario 2: You're really digging a chick sitting over on the bench, who's looking sweet and pretty, alone and maybe bored. You don't know her at all. Your heart skips, and you get a little weird feeling in your stomach. That's your Flirt Targeted warning man, follow your instinct!
Plan of attack: If you can pull it off without running over and jumping into the seat, effectively knocking her off, walk over, ask if you can sit down. If declined, tip the bench and walk away. (JUST
When accepted, sit down and ask what she's doing. If she's studying, ask if there’s anything you could help her with if it looks like she could use it, but don't be pushy. If she’s just sitting there reading a book, ask what it is. If she's listening to music, ask what she likes, and recommend a few songs (nothing with romantic lyrics unless she likes them and says so specifically). Try to not let the conversation die for more than a few minutes, crack jokes (clean and actually funny, research some!) share some interests, hobbies, activities, etc. But don't give everything out; keep some for later—keep
her wanting to come back to learn more. Just be smooth and casual, unstrained, and you should get a friend out of it. After you're comfortable (at least a week or so), you can either pop the question of a date, or wait and talk a while, be friends and get to know each other and see if it's worth it.
Scenario 3: You have been majorly crushing on a guy, and have decided to approach him. Hang on there honey! There’s a method to it.
Plan of Attack (almost literally): Start with calming yourself, do whatever you need to do to calm down. Okay, now you can walk over to him. Now, control yourself, the last thing you want to do is run up to him and start babbling. Don't overload him with information about yourself. Avoid talking about your past relationships. Talk about hobbies and interests, but don't give everything out; again keep some for later. When talking about yourself, be modest. No one likes a braggart.
The moral here is: Don't be afraid to talk to someone you like. I have been and I learned that you won't get anywhere by holding your tongue... literally or metaphorically.
Do you have any tips for not freaking out your crush?
Related Post: My Crush Is a Creeper