The Moral of the Story: Don't Trust Cute Boys

xcgirl116 has a confession to make. —Sparkitors

I kinda did something bad. I started liking someone—while I was in a relationship. And this someone was my SO’s best friend.

It wasn’t like the hot new kid came and swept me off my feet. This guy was in my year, in the same classes as me. I had known him for years. Suddenly, one day, I think we both looked at each other and thought: “Wow, I really like you.” Sure, he could act like a conceited jerkwad sometimes, but he was really funny—and there’s nothing I like more than a guy who makes me laugh.

Then he started liking me back.

And I’m not being delusional in the oh-my-god-he-said-hi-to-me-he-must-like-me-back kind of way. I’m saying he came over to my house at night and watched movies with me, sent me flirty, romantic texts, and even dropped off some soup when I wasn’t feeling well. We were exceptionally close.

I felt so guilty. I was in a long-term relationship, and even though my boyfriend was becoming kind of a jerkface to me, I still felt bad flirting with this other kid. I tried to break it off, several times—telling him it was wrong, I needed space, I couldn’t.

My crush gave me an ultimatum: him, or my boyfriend. My SO didn’t know about this, but I took a week to think over it anyway. I realized that while my boyfriend and I had so much history, we also had so much hurt and pain—arguments that still stung, and wounds left unhealed. I had given him two years of my life, and if we hadn’t forgiven each other yet, we never would. I picked my crush. I sent this embarrassingly long email to both of them explaining my decision. To my boyfriend, I said I had feelings for someone else and wanted to give it a chance.

I got a horrifying phone call from him. He was freaking out—he knew I was spending a lot of time with this other guy, but he wasn’t expecting to be broken up with via email. I admit this was the cowardly thing to do, but I wasn’t in town, so I couldn’t break up with him in person. He wanted a longer explanation, but I couldn’t give him one. I had loved him, but now I loved someone else. It was plain and simple. We were over.

And then I didn’t hear from my crush. Not for a couple weeks. Two weeks after I sent him the email, I saw on facebook that he had changed his relationship status to “in a relationship” with another girl.

I was completely heartbroken. I still am. It’s been a year, almost. And I still talk to my crush, not as much as before, but over three or four times a week. He’s been dating that same girl since then.

And even worse, I let my heart cloud my judgment. He texted me one night soon after, saying he and his girlfriend had gotten into a fight and had broken up, could he please please please come see me?

And said yes. We kissed, a lot. After he left, I felt like I was floating away on a cloud. I expected a goodnight text, or a phone call the next day, or a facebook message, or something! But nothing came. He’s STILL dating that same girl, almost a year later. When I finally got up the courage to ask him what the heck happened, he replied simply “it was fun—but it wasn’t the right time.” Ouch. I didn’t expect a full on marriage proposal, but I thought he might at least break up with her.

A month later, he finally told her about “us.” She hates my guts. Which sucks because I feel like we could be friends some day. I have nothing against her for dating my crush. It’s not her fault he led me on and pretty much used me and ground my heart into dust.

But the worst part is that I still like him, a lot. My heart flutters whenever I see him—it full-on stops when we facebook chat or text. I try to avoid talking to him as much as possible, because I know we’ll never be together in the way I want us to be. I want to hold his hand, and cuddle up watching a movie, like he promised me we would. Or, even just how we were before—just friends chilling on the couch watching “White Chicks.”

The moral of the story is not to trust cute boys, ever. Not even adorable brown-haired, blue eyed ones who say they just want to spend time with you.  Or maybe it’s don’t give up a good thing for something that won’t work out.

But, I feel like I did the right thing breaking up with my boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend. I didn’t love him, and I took a risk. I’m proud of myself for taking a chance, and while it didn’t work out in my favor, I wouldn’t change a thing. Except maybe my crush dating someone else, but you can't change how someone else feels.

Do you identify with xcgirl's situation?

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