A Discourse on Peanut Butter

When it comes to peanut butter, fabalafae ain't messin' around.—Sparkitors

My dear fellow Sparklers, I have a confession to make: I used to dislike peanut butter. Yes, yes, I know. No, please don’t e-mail the editors and tell them to suspend my SparkLife account.

During my formative childhood years, peanut butter wasn’t something that you’d often find in my family’s kitchen. And on the rare occasion when a jar did appear in our fridge, it would be one of those brands where the oil separates into a top layer. I’m sure that there are fans of this type of peanut butter, but I could never get it right. No matter how much I’d stir, I would end up with dry, crackly paste devoid of all toasty peanut goodness.

But rest assured, I have since reformed my despicable ways. In fact, I am currently going through a huge peanut butter phase. I pretty much put it in everything that I make—not just in sandwiches or on bread, but also in bowls of rice and vegetables. Peanut butter tastes awesome with apples and bananas, too. From noodles to chicken to broccoli, I can’t imagine that there’s anything peanut sauce can’t improve. It’s gotten to the point where I’m a little worried about my obsession.

It doesn't help that making peanut sauce is dead easy. Take some peanut butter; add water and stir until smooth. And...yeah. That's basically it. Add soy sauce or sugar to taste, if you are so inclined—but I don't think I've ever done that. My alternate secret ingredient: a tiny bit of sesame oil (it’s an Asian thing, and it tastes fairly awesome. You should definitely check it out.) I would probably try adding coconut milk and/or chili sauce, if I ever got my hands on some.

Jif and Skippy are the two quintessential brands of peanut butter from the American childhood. I have heard of stories where friendships were ruined over an argument of which brand is better. It seems that brand allegiances run quite deep, born from many a peanut butter and jelly sandwich eaten as part of the classic elementary school lunch.

On this matter of grave importance, I have decided this: I go both ways. I’ve been eating Jif for the past year or so, but I recently bought a jar of Skippy on my last trip to the supermarket.

The two are equally good brands of peanut butter—it’s a bit like debating between Colgate and Crest, I think.

I prefer to use Jif for making sandwiches and eating plain (wait, no, of course I don't eat spoonfuls of peanut butter straight out of the jar), because it’s saltier and sweeter. More intense, one could say. Skippy is a little bit less aggressive in taste and is really good to use in cooking (read: diluting with water to make sauce. This is some seriously high class cooking going on over here, I’m telling you. See the above paragraphs for details.)

My passionate devotion to peanut butter should serve me well when I go to study abroad in England at the University of Cambridge later this summer. Instead of being a normal poor college student, I will get to expand my horizons and be a poor college student in a country where the currency is much stronger than the American dollar. I might be reduced to eating peanut butter sandwiches for lunch every day, since I won’t have access to a functional kitchen in the dorm. This may be my one chance to be cheap and enjoy it at the same time! Score.

Peanut butter wins again! Are you as addicted as fabalafae?

Related post: Why Everyone Is Wrong About Everything and You Should Just Buy Some Reese's Pieces