You’ve got it bad for a boy—so bad that people are beginning to think you are certifiably insane. After seriously considering getting your crush’s name tattooed on your wrist, you settled for painting it across the trunk of your mom’s minivan, and she was NOT DOWN with that. Since then, your friends and family have been asking you to dial it down a notch. You know you need to get over this crush for two reasons:
One, the only way your crush will even consider dating you is if you start being a normal person with normal hobbies. And two, you're failing your finals because you're so busy determining exactly what shade his grey-blue eyes are (you want to paint your room this EXACT color) and analyzing his shoulder-to-waist ratio (he’s the ideal upside-down-triangle shape, and his perfection befuddles you). You never going to win him, or graduate, if you don’t get it together. We know it’s hard (we once followed a boy to college and pretended to have a penis in an effort to be his roommate), but we do have some tips on how to get him out of your head—at least for part of the day.
1. Watch movies about things blowing up. If you watch ANYTHING Kate Hudson stars in, you’re guaranteed to start thinking about how to win over your crush by doing crazy things no rational human being would ever suggest—like photoshopping your future babies, or, worse, writing an expose on your crush in your school newspaper. Watching a movie is a great way to pass time and get your mind off your crush, but the movie must be totally unrelated to romance. Watch something really NOT lovely dovey, like “The Die Hard Quadrilogy.”
2. Go for a walk. Nothing clears the good ole noggin like taking a stroll. It gets the endorphins going, which makes you feel good—good about yourself and the beautiful scenery around you, not just about some stupid boy. Take walks downtown and people-watch, or opt for a more nature-based walk on a trail, where you can clear your head a la Thoreau.
3. Try something besides stalking. Having a hobby will give you something to focus on other than your crush’s Facebook page. Think about what makes you just as happy as imagining your crush naked—then go ahead and pursue that. Take up something that will keep your head and hands busy—like painting, writing, ceramics, bike riding, or something cool that might even get your crush's attention, like playing the drums.
4. Surround yourself with clowns. No, we don’t mean go to the circus and pick up some crazy new friends with bad shoes. We mean it’s important to hang out with a group of people who are funny, and who get your mind out of the crush gutter. While you may want to sit around all day and wait for your crush to sign online, you need to get out of the house and have face-to-face interactions with real humans. Laughing and joking will get your mind off your love life, and maybe even introduce new possibilities.
How do you get your mind off somebody? Can you really ever do that if you're totes in love? How often do you find yourself on Facebook just waiting for the "one" to log on? Don't be embarrassed; share here!
Related post: 7 Things Never to Text Your Crush