Identifying the Typical Female Facebooker
monicarima, all the duckfaced ladies of Facebook bow their heads in shame before this post. –Sparkitors
Anyone on Facebook can tell you that social networking females tend to share the same habits. This behavior gets pretty annoying, so I'm going to call them out right now! These are the five identifying traits of your typical female Facebooker:
1. The profile picture. If it wasn't self-taken in the bathroom, it was self-taken on a webcam. It usually comes complete with a caption along the lines of: “OMG I look HORRIBLE in this picture, but Bobby made me post it </3.” That way, all the girls' friends can comment: “OMGZ YR CRAZY YR SO GORGEOUS.”
2. The relationship status. If they aren’t in an “actual” relationship, they're marked as being married or engaged to a platonic friend. Either way, the relationship status changes very frequently.
3. The info box. If they're in a relationship, there will inevitably be a “mm/dd/yy <3” in the info box. The info box also contains a long list of people that this female just looooves!!!<3 <3!!, with lots of hearts and things.
4. The status updates. LOTS o' Taylor Swift and other similarly predictable lyrics. Status updates are frequent, and include lots of tagging, usually in the form of “I love @Bobby," or, with a bonus indecipherable inside joke, “I love @Bobby bacon warz 4EVER wut wut!!1!” There will also be lots of allusions to heartbreak, e..g "It's rilly rilly hard when someone you trust breaks your heart...," probably to make it seem like something interesting is happening in this person’s life.
5. Notes. These girls' profiles are covered in billion-question survey notes, usually loaded with references to “the last person you kissed.” This is unfortunate for the NBKs, which these girls never seem to be.
Check your Facebook page, ladies. Are you guilty of crimes 1 through 5? But don't look at our profile photo, we look soooo gross in it OMG!!
Related post: 10 Ways to Avoid a Bad Facebook Status
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