Why the Friskies Cat Food Commercial Scares Me

This anonymous Sparkler can't figure out whether to beat Friskies cats or join them. –Sparkitors

Let me start off by saying that I do not have a cat. I do, however, have a 200-pound dog that thinks he’s a lap cat. (On an unrelated note, I am slowly losing all feeling in my legs.) But back to Friskies: there are a few things about this one-minute advertisement that rub me the wrong way:

• The song reminds me of It’s a Small World, and not in the “Oh yay, we’re at the most famous ride in Disney!” kind of way. More like a...Clockwork Orange kind of way. As in, “If I have to listen to this song one more time, I will go insane."

• If the commercial is anything to go by (and it definitely is, who would dare exaggerate in a commercial?), then these lucky Friskies cats eat better than I do!

• This is a two-part complaint: 1) I’ve eaten leftover spaghetti for the last three nights, and this jerk cat gets flying turkeys?, and 2) turkeys can't fly! Nor can fish, unless they're this kind of fish.

• I am now hungry for impossible things that don't exist, and so I will never be satisfied. Pineapples that welcome you into a palace?! Dancing tribal chickens?!! Dancing tribal chickens?!!!! How many of these do you get in each can of Friskies, and where is the nearest pet store?

• Obviously I’m bitter that that this cat gets more love (love=food, duh!) than I do. I also don't like the fact that a commercial scares me.

Does this commercial make you scared, or does it make you jealous of cats?

Related post: Commercials That Are Freaking Us Out Right Now

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