Auntie SparkNotes: Free, Clear, and College-Bound!
I have a dilemma that hopefully your awesome advice givingness can solve! I am a high school senior about to go off to college. There was this girl I dated during my junior year who I had an awesome connection with. We were like two peas in a pod! But she was a year older than me so she went off to college a couple of hours away from our hometown while I stayed in high school. The issue is that she wants to get back together when she comes back from school.
I am not sure if this is a good idea because when we go back to school in the fall our relationship might suffer because of the six hour car drive between us. So now I am about to leave for college and by the time she is done with her spring quarter and comes back home, we will have two or three weeks to spend together before I move to the town where I'm going to college in, which is two hours away from where our hometown is. I'm also wondering if I should stay single for when I go to college because I might meet a girl I like, which would put me in a pickle if I wasn't single. So my question is, should I go out with this AMAZING girl again, but in a long distance form? Or should I stay single for college?
Single. Single! SINGLE SINGLE SINGLE!!!
...But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's back up!
So, dude, here's the deal: going off to college and bringing your whole, uncommitted heart along with you is, truthfully, the best way to make sure that your freshman year gets off to a bangin' start. College will be your home, you want to be fully engaged in all that it has to offer, and that just won't be possible if you're spending your time and social stamina pining for someone who isn't there. Especially when, sadly, the vast majority of hometown and/or high school relationships end up tanking within the first semester of college, anyway.
Yep, sorry, you guys. It's harsh and unromantic, but it's true: every November, like clockwork, schools are overrun with freshly uncoupled kids thanks to the traditional Great Wave of Dumping that occurs over Thanksgiving break.
And that's before we even get to the part where, by the time Columbus Day weekend rolls around, you and Peapod Dreamgirl would have already been long-distance for longer than you were ever together in one place. (And six hours, while not technically insurmountable, is some pretty serious distance.)
Basically, you don't have the makings of a long-lasting love, here. And not only that, you're already wondering whether having a long-distance girlfriend will conflict with your on-campus game—which is a pretty good indicator that your heart isn't in the right place for embarking on this type of commitment. Which is fine! And if she is as amazing as you say, then she'll understand your feelings—as well as the fact that you can and should have the same unencumbered experience that she herself enjoyed when she went off to school. (And okay, the cynic in me might be the teensiest bit suspicious that she was happy enough to part ways when it was her turn to go to school, spent the whole year sampling the on-campus man selection, but now wants to come back and lay claim to you before you can do the same thing. What's up with that?)
But hey! While that three-week window isn't the ideal time to get together, that doesn't mean you and Peapod Dreamgirl can't, y'know, get together. A no-strings-attached summer fling can be its own special joy—and it gives you both a non-binding chance to hang out, lock lips, and see if you still enjoy each other's company. Because even if you're meant for each other, you're much more likely to make some magic happen if you spare yourself the complicated LDR stuff now and reconnect after you've graduated, instead.
Or at least after you've finished your first year.
Are you and your SO splitting for college, or hanging tough? Tell us in the comments! And to get advice from Auntie, email her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Related post: Auntie SparkNotes: And the Heart Says, "Duhhh"