Why Everyone Is Wrong About Everything, and You Should Just Buy Some Reese's Pieces

Just when you thought the debate was done, Dallas Lindsey blows the tiny-candy question wide open. –Sparkitors

I see that people on SparkLife are feuding about the wrong things. Skittles vs. M&M’s, really? No one even mentioned Reese’s pieces! They are a delectable snack far superior to M&M’s and Skittles combined! (This combination would be awfully grody…but… still proves my point!) MOVING ON, to ten reasons Reese’s Pieces dominate all other candies:

1. One word: peanutbutter. Do you know anyone who doesn’t love peanut butter? No one. Aside from Nazi Zombies. ARE YOU A NAZI ZOMBIE!? *pulls out harpoon*

2. People are allergic to peanut butter. Including that girl from 4C that my crush David likes… *devious plot face*

3. They come in exquisite colors. Brown and Orange! It’s like Halloween in a bag! It’s like scary, funky, fantastic goodness in a plastic sheath!

4. M&M’s thought they were too good for a little film called E.T. You know what delectable confection put on their smarty pants and became overwhelmingly wealthy after appearing in it? Not M&M's, and NOT SKITTLES. Reese’s Pieces.  *pwned by peanut butter*

5. Barack Obama LOVES Reese’s Pieces.

6. They will help you pass the AP Calc exam. Which is, if you didn’t know already, the most DIFFICULT AP Test.

7. They give you a reason NOT to put your whole hand in the jar of peanut butter. If you're one of those freaky kids who does that kinda thing… *twitches* *hides hand with peanut butter jar stuck to it*

8. They don’t leave a funky taste in your mouth if you suck on them, unlike M&M’s. M&M’s taste like paint and chocolate if you suck on them for too long. That’s NOT awesomesauce.

9. Skittles are for pansies. Do you think I got out of the arena alive by eating Skittles?! No. Real men eat Reese’s Pieces. And if you don’t agree, you can tell it to my titanium leg.

10. They lack variety, giving you time to do other things. For example: Go on field trips and get bitten by a radioactive spider!

It's really hard to type with peanut butter jars stuck on each hand. Take over for us in the comments, Sparklers!

Related post: 10 Reasons M&Ms are Superior to Skittles

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