The Perilous Art of Re-Friending on Facebook
amaryllismoon is a genius in the ways of the interwebz.—Sparkitors
So you go through your Facebook friends and purge your account of the people you never talk to or don't like because they post weird pictures of ducks every day. Happy that you now have fewer obnoxious friends cluttering up your news feed, you dismiss the event from your mind for days, weeks, months… but then you get assigned to a group project with a person that you deleted, and you all decide that the main way you'll communicate is through Facebook. Or maybe you become good friends with a previously deleted friend. Whatever the reason, you decide that you want to re-friend. As we all know, re-friending someone is a risky business, with the potential for awkwardsauce and sweat and fire-breathing dragons, but I promise you– you can do it! With the help of this little guide right here, of course.
Situation 1: The Group Project. Your English teacher has put you all into groups, and for some reason, your group decides that they will decide a meeting time via Facebook. You distinctly remember deleting one of your group members because she kept posting pictures of her and her boyfriend’s sloppy make-outs. You could just not refriend her and deal solely with the other group members, but this is for a grade! Keep your pants on; here’s what you do.
How to Handle: Just add her as a friend and do the project. It’s no big deal; she probably forgot that you two were Facebook friends in the first place.
How NOT to Handle: Do NOT send her a message saying, “I’m sorry I deleted you; your pictures of you and Mr. Boyfriend were just so obnoxious. Anyways, let’s do this group project, ‘kay?” Also, deleting her again right after the project is done is also a bad idea. Have some class; wait until the semester is over. And if you really have to, block her from your news feed.
Situation 2: The Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend. You deleted him in a fit of rage after he broke up with you for “borrowing” his entire tray of brownies for erm, a school project. After months of steadily ignoring him in the hallways, you find yourself becoming friends with him again. Or, for some reason, you two get back together (maybe he made more brownies and forgave you). Now you have to face the fact that you two are no longer Facebook friends, and since any sort of relationship is defined virtually by Facebook, this should probably be remedied. Don’t panic though! It’s easier than you think.
How to Handle: Shoot him a friend request. If you feel the need to, you can include a little message saying something like, “Hey, buddy; sorry, I didn’t even realize we weren’t friends on here anymore. Haha.” If he’s a cool kid, he’ll just brush it off and accept the request.
How NOT to Handle: Do NOT send him a giant explanation of what went wrong in your previous relationship. Even if your intentions are good, it’s awkward, and no one likes awkward. Also, some warnings with this one: if you two are not mutual friends (as in, this might possibly just be one-sided stalking), don’t re-friend him. And if your only intention is to stalk him, don’t re-friend him. It’s just a bad idea, and come on, man, just move on.
Situation 3: The Family Member. You got annoyed with your grandmother stalking you and your relatives on Facebook, and in a momentary burst of slight insanity, you deleted her from your friends list. But now the holidays are coming up, and you’re really not looking forward to having to explain why she can no longer see your wall. But before you try and escape to another country to avoid your family, there’s an easier way to handle this.
How to Handle: Confuse grandma with technology. Re-friend her with the message “Hey, grandma! I think Facebook had a glitch because I see that somehow we aren’t friends anymore. Isn’t that weird? I guess my binary code on my xkcd drive failed. Crazy! Anyways, not a lot is going on with me; I can’t wait until the holidays when I can visit! See you then!” Note: This will work best with elderly relatives. Your little sister probably won't go for this.
How NOT to Handle: Do not just add them with no message or explanation. Even if you tell the truth “sorry, grandma, but I was just getting so many notifications from your comments on my Facebook,” send a message. No explanation means that you will be doing a lot more explaining at the holidays.
Situation 4: The Accidental Delete. You’re on a deleting spree, and uh oh! You’ve accidentally deleted one of your best friends or cousins or childhood friends! These people WILL notice because they probably stalk you already (in a friendly way, of course). You must re-friend them, or else they will think that you hate them when you really love them to pieces. WHAT DO YOU DO?! Well, basically, this:
How to Handle: Add them, and send the message explaining what happened. ”OMG, I’m so sorry that I deleted you; I was totes trying to delete Susie Mc-Whats-Her-Face, but I clicked on your name instead! Want to go to the movies later and make fun of people who can’t play that crane game right?? Love you!” Most likely, they will forgive you, accept your request, and it will be no big deal.
How NOT to Handle: Not explaining that it was an accident is a bad, bad idea. Because they might assume that it was on purpose, and since Facebook is basically the way people live nowadays, your relationship might be a bit strained.
This post is so helpful! Have you ever re-friended anyone?
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