Jenny's blogging Once Upon a Prom, a novel that probably shouldn't exist. —Sparkitors
It's 4 weeks, 3 hours, and 18 minutes till prom, and Tara is much too aware of that deadline. She's on a rampage to take Victor (AKA "K") on a makeover shopping trip. After lecturing him about Everything He Does Wrong, Tara goes to Victor's house to sort through his current wardrobe.
Tara, shockingly, hates Victor's current wardrobe.
Now, there is nothing wrong with a little makeover. Some people (me) need fashion help. But Tara's idea of a makeover is basically "Torch The Closet and Use Daddy's Credit Card To Buy An Entire Shopping Mall."
Normally, I would say that Tara's character is shallow, rich, and spoiled. But since I know better, since I know that this book is a True Classic of the English Language, I think the author is alluding to two things with this obviously-over-the-top makeover. One, Tara's quest to destroy any vestiges of Victor's personality that exist in his wardrobe (like his awesome Star Trek t-shirts and chunky glasses, which she insists are awful and "dorky") is a metaphor for the way Tara is going to destroy everything that is Victor—in other words, the author is hinting that Tara is going to douse Victor in gasoline and torch him the same way she's torching his clothes. Second, the author is trying to point out that dorks are going to take over the universe.
This point may seem far-fetched, so I'll explain: the author has clearly labeled Victor a dork. We know that dorks are awesome, but Tara disagrees. And clearly, Tara will eventually wind up trying to kill Victor. But, you see, we already know that Victor is also plotting to stab Tara with her high-heeled shoe at prom... and Victor has obviously been planning this much longer than Tara has. Which means he'll win in the end. Victor may be complying to Tara's Operation Takeover-Makeover, but he's only doing it so he appears docile and tame (so no one will expect him of violent, violent murder). So you see, the author is a genius! (And she is creating Victory for the Nerds, so we have to love her.)
In the meantime, Jordan is telling Nisha about her almost saliva-swapping time with Shane. Nate walks up during this conversation and questions Jordan about her whereabouts the night before, and she yells at him for spying on her. Because the guy was worried about her for being totally missing. Jordan doesn't see it though, and she totally blows up in his face! She rants and raves about how all he cares about is pizza and baseball, and then she gets so passionately angry that she bashes his head in with her math book. Well, sort of. She does get mad. Finally, Jordan's murderous side is coming out!
Of course, Nate comes over to Jordan's house later and they make up (and make out), but who cares about that? We've finally had a glimpse of the truth.
But here's the real question: who is going to kill someone first? Jordan, Victor, or Tara?
Here's what I predict will happen next:
- Victor and Tara both try to take each other down at the same time, but Victor has an actual Real-Life Star Trek phaser gun, and so he totally dominates.
- Jordan gets upset when Nate asks her what her favorite kind of pizza is because he's being "too demanding" and all he cares about is pizza.
What do you think will happen next? Will something interesting EVER happen?!
Related Post: Blogging Once Upon a Prom