How to Conquer Your Public Speaking Fears

For some of us, talking to a roomful of people is sort of like breathing or blinking or growing skin, if those things were even more effortless than they already are. We naturally adjust to our audience, we keep the crowd's attention, and we find good places to pause for...DRAMATIC EFFECT. (See what we did there?) But even us performery folk know what it feels like to tank in a major way, and how horribly sucky it feels to bomb. (There's a reason they call it "dying.")
(Which is, you know, because it feels like dying.)
(You get it.)
Use these techniques to do what those confident actor-types do, and stop having your eighth panic attack already.

Assume your audience already likes you: It's much easier to talk to your best friend than, say, your rabid pitbull of a stepbrother. With your friend, you know that, most of the time, he already thinks you're sweller than a cat playing with a dolphin. You also know that he probably fundamentally agrees with you and supports your opinions, making you comfy enough to say what you think in a fluid way. Even if your stepbrother has a front-row seat and a bucket full of throwing tomatoes (which, if he does? Please email pictures asap kthxbye!), assume that the majority of the crowd is just like your friend.  It doesn't matter if they're strangers or if they're people you know who're seeing you in a different context than they usually do; either way, odds are, they want to like you. Let them!

Don't imagine the audience naked: We know it's an age old piece of advice, but seriously? Don't. In one bad outcome, you wind up seeing saggy, aging things you can't unsee. In another bad outcome, you wind up with an extreme case of happiness in your pants. Either way, you'll be too distracted to give your speech the focus it needs.

Practice and prepare, but don't memorize: Get super familiar with what you want to say, the points you want to make, any key phrases you want to work in, and any choreography or props you might have. (Props includes tech/audiovisual stuff, Bang Snaps, breakaway clothing, pets, cupcakes, or anything else that isn't just you speaking.) Go over and over it until you know it inside and out; if your presentation follows a logical order, this'll be much, much easier. Also, try your props multiple times in the venue, if you can.

So, if you're doing all this work, why not just memorize, right? Think about every speech you've ever seen where someone stands stick straight, rolls their eyes up in their head, and recites a string of meaningless, emotionless words in as few breaths as possible. If you're not already a solid public speaker, that's what memorization gets you. If you know the structure of your presentation rather than a series of words, you'll have more breathing room and more ability to respond to the audience and say things in your own words. And when you're speaking in your own words, you're more likely to sound natural, relaxed and confident. Those are all good things.

Pick a focal point, and then make eye contact: Pick a place on a wall in the back of the room. This is your baseline focal point; it's where you'll stare about a third-to-half of the time, and it's a place you can come back to if you feel like you've lost your place or you need a second to reset. (Why not pick someone's face? Because it's easy to get distracted if the person you pick is restless or giggly or hot.) The rest of the time, move away from the focal point, pick various people throughout the audience, and make eye contact with them. Not, like, scary eye contact, but normal, friendly, "hey—what's up?" eye contact.

Give yourself a treat: You know how, when the doctor has to give you a shot, he usually gives you candy afterward? Do something similar for yourself. Whether it's Portal 2, or a pedicure with all the works, or a cubic vat of choco-mint chip, give yourself something you know you'll really love to congratulate yourself for getting through something that's out of your comfort zone. It's hard to be in a bad mood when you know that William and Kate plate set's waiting for you on the other side of your speech.

Are you scared of public speaking? If so, how do you prepare?

Related post: Be Unafraid. Be Very Unafraid.