The Politics of Boobs

jesusfreak823 isn't afraid to broach the awkward subject of boobs! (Sorry Manklers, this post is for the laaaddies.)—Sparkitors

I am one of those girls who is always clicking through the pages and pages of fantastical articles that SparkNotes has to provide. (Sucking up to Sparkitors? CHECK.) But as I've navigated through Auntie Sparknotes and other random tidbits, I've noticed a LOT of  females complaining about having small boobs! Small boobs are considered a flaw and are always looked down upon, but let me tell you: as a girl with a rack... I envy you all.

I am exactly like my grandmother: my personality, my looks, the way I talk, EVERYTHING about me is like my grandmother. But my grandmother was from Hungary, and therefore, she was very voluptuous. Granted, I am short (4'11 and full grown!) but I have these massive lugs on my chest that just are way more trouble than they deserve!

You girls complain about having to put up with an A cup or a B cup? Try skipping the training bra and jumping to a B cup at the end of 5th grade! My friends always hint that they're jealous of me, but it's nothing to envy, I promise you. Let me give you some reasons:

-If you play sports; they are a royal pain in the BATOOCUS! Up, down, up, down. That's all I can say. Doesn't matter how tight the sports bra is, they will never stay put.

-Trying to dress modestly is INCREDIBLY hard. I could be wearing a scoop neck t-shirt (that looks very modest on regular folks) and be called out on it by a teacher immediately. I try and try, but the only solution I have is baggy t-shirts, turtlenecks, and comfy sweatshirts. (Quite frankly, I am not opposed to those.)

-Your torso is smaller. Why does that not sound as threatening as I would like? Hm... well put it this way: When you find a cute shirt that looks good on the mannequin or in the picture, you'll quickly discover that your bumbling bosom fills up half of it and you look like someone about to "walk the streets." (Happens to me all too often)

-Boys. Boys. BOYS! You say you want the attention, but not this kind, trust me! Now, I am not classified as "hot," but I still have guys staring at me when I try to exercise or just walk down the halls as school. I get very self conscious and definitely don't take their comments as compliments.

-Bathing suits are an absolute HORROR to go shopping for! It is not my goal to look like I'm wearing lingerie!

-Minimizer bras are just.... ghastly. They are tight and uncomfortable and at least you decent sized females can have something plushy if you want a change. If I want a difference, I have to get stiff, corset-like suffocation in my boobs. It hurts.

I could probably go on, but I think I made my point. Having curves isn't always worth it. BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT AND DON'T ASK FOR MORE!

We know this is a touchy subject; we want to hear your opinions!

Related post: Auntie SparkNotes: Is It Ok To Want A Breast Reduction?