How to Recover If Your Confidence Pants Rip

Once in a while, when you take a big risk, things don’t turn out exactly as you had hoped. You put on your confidence pants, but you didn't get the lead role in the spring musical, make the softball team, get into your top choice school, or land the girl. And while yes, that totally sucks, you have to brush yourself off and get back to normal. We here at SparkNotes have failed at plenty of things—and we turned out just fine, right? So take our advice and you'll be over the humiliation in no time.

Allow yourself to grieve. Feeling bad is not only OK; it’s necessary. If you don’t make the softball team and the first thing you want to do is go for a long drive to blow off some steam, do it—just don’t drive angry or you’ll be sure to get a speeding ticket, and that will just make things crappier. If you feel like crying when you lose, do it (we recommend sobbing in private; that’s where you can get the best cry out). If you feel like gorging on ice cream, watching “Teen Mom,” or buying a new pair of shoes, go for it. Cut yourself some slack and nurse your wounds.

Pull up your pants. After you get confidence-depantsed and indulge in a little bit of grieving time, it’s time to pull those pants back up from around your ankles and put on a tough face. You don't have to practice pitching again with your dad after school, but start smiling when you see the softball team practicing. If you asked out a cute girl to prom and she blew you off, start wearing your cute Levis again instead of those totally gross sweatpants—and when you're ready, start thinking of new prom possibilities.

Get back in the game. Now that you have your pants back on, it's time to use them. Is softball still your thing? Or are you gonna get into another sport? You don’t have to decide quite yet, but start hitting the gym and getting in shape! The elliptical is a great place to do some thinking—and to wear some tight yoga/confidence pants. And now that you’re ready to jump back in the dating game, you’re in luck because it's spring (and that’s when cute girls start letting their knees come out). It’s going to be so much fun staring at girls in skirts!

Strut your stuff. Eventually and inevitably, there will be another time you have to take a risk—unless you live the life of a monk. It’s going to take a little extra courage and tenacity, but you need to work the runway of the world. So ask out that babe, try teaching yourself French, and choreograph a crazy dance for the talent show. Put a little extra spring in your step when you finally try a new pair of confidence pants on—and take comfort in knowing that if things don’t go your way, there may be a nice ice cream sundae indulgence on the other side.

What do you do when your confidence pants fall off?

Related post: Confidence Pants on the Ground