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Birthday Months—Best to Worst

Birthday Months—Best to Worst

By Lucy Hutchinson

Not all months are created equal. Some birth months will be a constant hindrance to your life, others will actually prevent hair loss and help you get into a better college. You're pretty much stuck with whichever month you were born in, but in case you're contemplating reincarnation, we've ranked the months from best to worst:

1. June

It's exactly halfway between Christmas and next Christmas. Your gift-receiving is evenly spaced throughout the year. This shows forward thinking and practicality. Go you!

2. April

The weather is usually seasonable, no matter which hemisphere you live in, and April is a prettier word than, say, October.

3. March

Birthday parties held in March hardly ever end in a call to the fire station. This is a plus.

4. September

Studies show that people born in September are taller and better at Scrabble than you.

5. October

On the one hand, you're allowed to have a Halloween-themed fancy dress party EVERY YEAR. On the other hand, people want you to have a Halloween-themed fancy dress party EVERY. YEAR.

6. July

Almost as good as June, but not quite. People born in July tend to attract bees.

7. August

It's either the dead of winter or the sweltering peak of summer, depending on which end of the Earth you live on. Either way, it makes ice cream cake difficult.

8. February

Only 28 days means your month-long birthday festival will be two parades short.

9. May

We don't know about you, but it always takes us a second to remember that there's a month in between April and June. May is like the forgotten middle child who always gets left behind at the grocery store. If your birthday is in May, chances are, you are also that middle child.

10. November

People born in November tend to have a negative outlook on life.

11. January

Having a birthday in January, immediately after the whole Christmas/New Years situation, is like eating cake for breakfast, then cold mashed potato for the rest of the day. The other 10 and a half months of the year will drag past, as bitter and cold as the tears that you will shed in July, when you realize it will be another six months before you're allowed to blow a noisemaker.

12. December

Two words: joint presents. There's always someone who thinks that a car on your birthday and a bag of puppies for Christmas can somehow be beaten by giving you 19 pairs of socks as a combined Christmas-birthday gift.

Do you agree?

Related Post: The Ten Worst Birthday Presents Ever

Topics: Life
Tags: parties, gifts, birthdays, presents, calendar

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