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Blogging Taylor Swift: "Mine"

Blogging Taylor Swift:

By Contributor

xxblueeyesxx595 wants you to take a second look at Taylor Swift's lyrics. Then point at them and laugh. –Sparkitors

Though I love Taylor Swift as much as the next crazed teenage girl, I have come to notice that some of her lyrics are rather...funny. In this series, I shall be painstakingly analyzing and decoding the deep and hidden messages emanating from the Swiftian headquarters. Or, when completely unavoidable, having a laugh at some of her more unfortunate turns of phrase.

Let's talk about “Mine,” the first single released from her new album, Speak Now. I don’t generally recommend calling someone you’re involved with “mine.” It makes you seem like an overly possessive toddler defending a Teletubby, or a villain holding an angora rabbit, stroking it's fur maniacally while saying "miiiiine."  Neither situation is very romantic, agree?

“I was a flight risk, with a fear of falling.” Can you help but imagine Taylor Swift strapping on huge Icarus wings, pacing indecisively on a cliff top like a deranged Cocker Spaniel who has just been fed an energy drink? I know I can't.

A startling fact about this "romantic" and possessive relationship emerges many verses in: apparently this dude she was with made her keep all her stuff in a single drawer at his place. Not a dresser, not a closet, but a drawer. If I had only one drawer for my belongings, there would be terrible consequences. My collection of foreign cheeses would stink up the drawer, and it would be super hard folding all my parachute pants into tight enough wads to fit. Don't cry for this stingy drawer-jerk, Tay-Tay!

Now, the chorus: "Do you remember we were sittin’ there by the water? / You put your arm around me, for the first time." That situation could get awkward quickly. I do not think I would be feeling too snuggly if my pants were becoming increasingly damp and seaweed infested. Let's just assume for sake of argument that "the water" is some weedy pond. It makes for a much more interesting song!

Now for the song's classic Swift-style fight scene, where sappy romanticism is thrown to the birds, hearts are broken, drawers are emptied, and records are sold. “Everything was slipping right out of our hands," gripes Taylor, who has clearly been dipping into the buttered popovers again, making for very slippery paws. Wash your hands, sweetie!

All in all, this is a catchy, mild/bland song about Taylor Swift’s well-worn romantic adventures. It's predictable, upbeat, and fun to listen to on your iPod while shoveling snow. And as with many things in life, it gets more interesting when you dig a little deeper. At least that’s what happened when I kept digging below the snow in my back yard, till I found the burial site of a few chickens. I named them Taylor, Swifty, and Drawer. RIP.

Which Taylor Swift should xxblueeyesxx595 blog next?

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Wanna write for SparkLife? So did Taylor Swift, but we rejected her when she didn't read this first!

Topics: Music, Celebs & Stuff
Tags: sparkler posts, taylor swift, blogging taylor swift

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