Combatting Homesickness (with Ridiculousness)
Homesickness is such a jerk. It catches you when you're caught off guard—on vacation, away at college, or when you move to a new town (we get homesick if we've been at the mall for a really long time). And it strikes at the most inopportune times, like when you're SCUBA diving, trying to eat lunch, or on a crowded escalator outside Forever 21. If you're over the age of 4, wailing "I wanna go hooooooome!" and bursting into tears in the dining hall can, unfortunately, be seen as kind of pathetic. Here are some strategies for distracting yourself from feeling homesick:
- Teach yourself to juggle. Do it all day long. The constant effort of keeping small objects airborne won't leave any space in your head to think about how the traffic lights in your new town are weird.
- Constantly sing showtunes in your head. Or out loud, if you want to make some really interesting new friends.
- Read a set of encyclopedias from cover to cover. Remember to take notes!
- Whip your hair back and forth, several times a minute. Whiplash will completely take your mind off how much you miss the toaster back home.
- Hand-embroider your name onto every pair of underpants you own. Then start on other people's underpants.
- Hang out by the dumpsters for a while. Your new room will seem really nice by comparison.
- Before you leave home, get your family to rub their faces on an old towel. Carry the towel with you everywhere to remind you of home.
- Make it your mission to sample every item in the grocery store before your holiday and/or semester is up.
- Make candles out of earwax. Go earwax-collecting among your friends and neighbors.
- Paint your entire room using only bottles of nail polish. The fumes will soon make you forget your old house.
- Hide inside a pillowcase.
- Start calling your roommate "Mom."
- Put butter on your hands and feet, then spend several hours licking it off. Hey, it's supposed to work for cats.
When do you get homesick?
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