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How to Ruin a First Date

How to Ruin a First Date

By Melissa Albert

It’s funny how the ingredients for a perfect date are actually the exact same ingredients for a disastrously terrible date. HAHAHA! Except, less funny when you’re on fire owing to romantic candlelight and still hacking up soggy stacks of bad love poems you mistook for baklava. What happened?! Let’s review. Here are a few ways that too much of a good thing can deep six a first date.

Do: Find a way to make your first date special.

Don't: Make it the most romantic night of all time. Filling a hot tub with snow globes and capping your teeth with your date's initials in diamonds is, obviously, the best way to celebrate a one-year anniversary. But on a first date, it's a bit much.

Do: Act like yourself.
Don't: Act like the self that you reveal to your best friend three Slurpees into a sleepover. Does your date need to know that you do an uncomfortably accurate raptor impression and can perform the entire Knights Who Say Ni scene in Spanish? Not until the middle of prom.

Do: Joke around with your date.
Don't: Panic when there's an awkward pause and default to acting like a mocking jerk. It's all too easy to start making fun of your date's pants, taste in music, and overbite, especially because he's wearing the dumbest pants you've ever seen and only listens to Gregorian chants. But negativity is boring, and a sure way to wreck the mood.

Do: Talk about the things you have in common.
Don't: Immediately ask to borrow a bunch of his stuff. Yes, it's great that he has the same taste as you, but it'll look suspicious if you ask to borrow his iPod and first-edition graphic novels five minutes into the date, then cancel the date so you can go home to listen to music and read the rest of the night.

Do: Suggest you try something new together.
Don't: Make an ill-fated bid at spontaneous romance by enrolling yourselves in a three-week cheesemaking class. Too much, too soon! And while adventure is fun, don't suggest you shave your heads together and go cow-tipping straight out of the gate. Crazy-fun turns all too easily into certifiably-crazy.

Do: Let your date know that you had a good time.
Don't: Present him with a memorabilia box from your date (Slurpee straw, snow globe, marked-up copy of Modern Bride) and ask where he's taking you for Valentine's Day 2012.

Related post: Hate Your First Date?

Topics: Life
Tags: flirting, dating, first dates, funny things, bad dates

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About the Author
Melissa Albert

Melissa Albert reads books, worries about other people’s dogs (they look thirsty), and eats horrible candy for fun and profit. When not wearing her extremely tasteful Sparkitor hat, she’s an editor for the Barnes & Noble Book Blog. You can find her on Twitter @mimi_albert, or in the hot pretzel section of your local cafeteria.

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.