How to Deal With Your V-Day Fail

How to Deal With Your V-Day Fail

By Lucy Hutchinson

Okay, so what happened? Sit down and tell us all about it. What's that? We can't hear over all the hyperventilating. Your Valentine's day went badly? There, there, it'll be all right. Wait, you got a candy heart stuck where? Um. Never mind. No matter how badly you embarrassed yourself, we're sure you can win back the affection of your Valentine, and the respect of society in general. Here's how:

The situation: You tried to do a sexy hair flip, but accidentally whipped your date in the eye. He lost a contact.

How to deal with it: Turn it into a thing. Next time you see him, cheerfully whack him in the face with your ponytail. Start doing it to friends and relatives, too. You'll become known as "That girl who hits people with her hair," which is better than "That girl who shaved her head under mysterious circumstances."

The situation: You invited your crush over to watch movies, but your parents hijacked the date and made the two of you watch home videos all night.

How to deal with it: Feign amnesia. It'll go a little something like this:

You: Hi, Crushy Crusherson!

Crushy: (sniggering) Hi. You had a mullet when you were six.

You: I have no idea what you could possibly be referring to! Inception is such a great movie. Remember how we watched it last night? That was great.

Crushy: (sniggering) Fallen off any waterslides lately?

You: What a great idea! Want to come to the water park with me this weekend?

Crushy: Um. Sure! Let's hold hands!

The situation: When trying to find your seat in the movie theater, you tripped and faceplanted in someone's popcorn. When you got home, you realized you'd had popcorn in your eyebrows all night.

How to deal: Laugh it off. If anyone mentions it the next day—either your date, or one of the 67 classmates who are bound to have seen you—say something flippant like "Yeah, I was saving it for later." (Alternately, turn on them with a deadpan expression and say, "It was to feed the pigeon that lives in my hair.")

The situation: You completely forgot you had a date, and spent the night painting your cat's toenails with your phone off.

How to deal: You could ask for a second chance, but accept the fact that your date may never speak to you again. Refrain from whipping her in the face with your hair. It'll just make things more awkward.

Did anyone out there have a horrible Valentine's Day?

Related Post: Terrible Pickup Lines

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