Skip over navigation

Phi Beta Dagger

Phi Beta Dagger

By Chelsea Dagger

Is there any better way to start your day than with a picture of your four favorite dastardly dudes? Yes. There are lots of better ways. For example, it would be great to start the day without Chelsea Dagger breaking the cafeteria's magic coffee machine in front of  dozens of people, but alas, Chelsea Dagger is an imbecile, and breaking magic things in front of crowds is practically her only talent. Fortunately, just because she's an unbelievable butt-clown, doesn't mean she's not impressively generous, which is why all the new members of Phi Beta Dagger will be receiving absolutely NOTHING.

Bet you weren't expecting that. But sometimes, you just gotta roll with the punches, so take your big box full of nada and get on with your bad selves.

NEW INDUCTEES:
locococoa123
flyingpig23
Tempestam
FairytalesCo
royalwithin
ChristineBean38
GothicLollie
zara95
lia0006
emgem789

And now, our Einstein-esque CERTIFIABLE GENIUSES:
charmedgiirl14
Amyga17
windflowerxx
Alexius the Awsome
runaway128
legolas'slover
pollysmiles101
facepalm27
InfinityWolf
pirategirl2011
bakerstreetirregular
Phantasmagoria18
alsailor44
Mr.Granger99
Sparky007xxx69420666
ESKan
miss.elizabeth
AllWeKnowIsFalling
EmeraldEyesAreGreen
kj1030
ManateesLookLikeWaterBalloons
wickedchick82
lolo772
greenflamingo001
DontWorryBeHappy:)
TAMM!E
veryspecialagent226
friendlydragonette
mamajo8296
LOTR_junkie6
MaidenWarrior
A-Wingfan
jewbiegirl
rellers33
Ex96
mysticjadeshoe
T_Pierce
CharlieHoops1
NightOwlGirl14
pretty_little_writer
nonickname34
crazyforanime17
Dearestmoo
Zebrahippopotamuspuss
rainfire113
SecretlyAWizard
Nyx_of_Night
amaryllismoon
FrolickingSheep
sayWHAT??shutUP!!
hazyshadeofwinter
The_Red-Headed_League
Varda93
BananaEasy
CrayonsPink
cocolashellbear
crazedbutterflyprincess
bad_hijab_day
mrs.draco416
amazingpancakes17
Elena28
LeehtaLoo
rodtel314
cookielover24
wyverndragon
Real Alias
Banaynays1295
projotce
melian24

We've got a new plan for the never monastic, always bombastic THE DAGGER AWARDS: we'll no longer be re-posting comments, as that takes up pages and pages of fake interwebz space. Instead, we'll just list the comment number after the award, so that all you curious munchkins can check it out if the mood strikes you. Fabulous? Yes.

The "I Don't Understand What You Mean About The Jalapenos and The Dogs, But I'm Gonna Give You This Anyway" Dagger Award is presented to InfinityWolf for comment 7.

The “I Would Pay SO Much Money To See Gollum Pop and Lock” Dagger Award is presented to pirategirl2011 for comment 13.

The “Your Comment Is Hilarious, Well-Spaced, and Deeply Frightening, All At the Same Time” Dagger Award is presented to mysticjadeshoe for comment 18.

The “Everything IS Hermione’s Fault! Why Have I Never Realized That Before?” Dagger Award is presented to SecretlyAWizard for comment 24.

The “Any Comment That Mentions Pretzel Fred’s Blog Deserves A Shout-Out” Dagger Award is presented to sayWHAT??shutUP!! for comment 49.

The “TRUE. My Taste In Font Colors Is Unrivaled In the Western Hemisphere.” Dagger Award is presented to bad_hijab_day for comment 59.

The “Good To See Ya Again, Sherlock!” Dagger Award is presented to bakerstreetirregular for comment 81.

The “You Are Remarkably Good At Thinking Of Names That Don’t Contain ‘E’s” Dagger Award is presented to MaidenWarrior for comment 84.

The “Your Third Time Lucky Indeed” Dagger Award is presented to wyverndragon for comment 93.

The "I Have Complete Confidence That You Will Be The Finest Hogwarts Student/Super Model Ever to Grace A Spanish Class Runway" Dagger Award is presented to Real Alias for her adorable email!

This is one of the best collections ever hosted in THE GALLERY D'ART; every single piece makes us delirious with happiness (especially the ones where Chelsea Dagger looks skinny and/or has 80s hair).

YAY. That was fun, right? Except for the part where Chelsea broke stuff and crushed dreams and died, etc, etc. Meet us back here tomorrow for the Think Tank!

Related post: PBD Archives

Topics: Life, Test Prep
Tags: phi beta dagger, dagger awards

Write your own comment!


Write your own comment!


About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

From Our Partners