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The 10 Best Excuses to Get Out of Gym Class

The 10 Best Excuses to Get Out of Gym Class

By Chelsea Dagger

There are some days when the thought of pulling on your damp sweatpants and getting nailed in the left eye by 38 shuttlecocks just isn’t that appealing—and on those days, these excuses  (which are most effective if your gym teacher is a particularly dumb 6-year-old child) will come in mighty handy.

1. “The last time I ran a mile, I barfed so hard that a piece of baloney came out my eye.”

2. “It looks like tornado weather out there. Maybe we better move this flag-football game to the computer lab.”

3. “I accidentally wore my paper pants today. They tear real easy.”

4. “I got shot in the nostril by a pellet gun last Wednesday, so it’s safe to say I won’t be playing dodge ball anytime soon.”

5. “I ate too much curdled diary product for lunch. Again.”

6. “My molars have been really sensitive lately.”

7. “My mom said that if you make me shoot even one more free-throw, she’ll sue this school into the ground and then personally see to it that you spend the rest of your life cleaning snake cages in a Siberian zoo. Apparently, they have a lot of snakes there. I was surprised too.”

8. “I’m pretttttty sure archery is illegal.”

9. “I ran the lawn mover over my face this weekend. You can’t tell, because I piled on the concealer, but I’m actually slowly bleeding to death as we speak.”

10. “One of my legs is made of glass.”

What's your best excuse for missing gym?

Related post: Gym Class Survival Guide

Topics: Life
Tags: excuses, gym, ridiculous things, funny things, gym class, list post

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About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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