How to Make Sure Your Face is All Over Your Yearbook

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You can't always get what you want, unless what you want is utter yearbook dominance. Making certain that your bright, shiny mug is on nighevery page of your next yearbook takes careful planning, but it'll be worth it when you're showing your grandkids photographic evidence that you crashed each and every sports banquet dinner at your high school, despite the fact that you never touched a piece of athletic equipment outside of gym class. Here's how you're going to make this dream, which you didn't realize you had before right now, a reality.

Flunk out of your own grade in the middle of the year. Conversely, get yourself promoted a grade. There is a very small chance your yearbook photo will run in two different grades.

Take advantage of the senior-photo rule. You know, the one that allows seniors to pose with their favorite things, such as their weights, their Scarlett O'Hara fantasy, or their massive ego trip. Make a bunch of senior friends, and convince them that posing with you is the quickest shortcut to expressing their true inner selves. Because their true inner self is apparently you.

Pull a Max Fischer. Join every club your school's got, then start a few for good measure. Dialectics for Dog Lovers, anyone? Obscure Jell-o Flavors Appreciation Society, perhaps?

PHOTOBOMB! Always be on the lookout for photo ops, so you can plant yourself in the background. Crowning of prom royalty? Hey, there's you, pantsing the king! School basketball team's shooting guard slam dunks during the last game of the year? Who's that on the court right behind him, drinking a Big Gulp and giving a thumbs-up?! (A: You.)

Become half of a high-school power couple. Identify the most involved person at your school, and appeal to their political ambitions. Once you've joined forces, you can divide all school clubs and sports between yourselves, and refuse to take club/team photos apart.

Spend a lot of time leaning against trees while holding a guitar. Those kinds of photos make it into yearbooks all the time.

Become "the dude/chick in the hat!" Curate a collection of crazy hats that you wear to every possible school function. Constantly do that "hang loose" thing with your hands while sticking your tongue out. Yearbook photographers love that wacky crap!

Make yourself a superlatives shoo-in. You know: most athletic, most likely to succeed, most popular. Some of these categories can take years of work to place in, so you're best off going for the lower-hanging fruit: wackiest (hat collection!), most involved, biggest flirt. Better yet...

Join the yearbook staff, and invent new superlatives that you know you can handle. Such as "Lushest fake beard," or "Most likely to be seen eating Sbarro on Wednesdays with Katie." Play to your strengths!

Bring Kelsey Grammer to your school dance. For some reason Kelsey Grammer was at one of this Splogger's school functions, back in the 90s. No, seriously. The yearbook staff was all over this inexplicable occurrence, and we're sure that lightning can strike twice!

What will you do to get your face plastered on every page of the yearbook?

Related post: Top 19 Yearbook Signatures