Faye's Quest for a Prom Date: The Football Player, The Science Geek, or Taylor Lautner?

You're going to be seeing a lot of Faye around here... and eventually picking her prom dress! —Sparkitors

I am on a quest.
(Cue dramatic music)

This is my quest
To follow that star
No matter how hopeless
No matter how—

Ok, not that kind of quest. (Mad props to those who got the Man of La Mancha reference, though.) I am on the quest to find a date to Senior Prom.

My name is Faye. I’m 17 years old. I like strawberry ice cream. I’m a rollercoaster junkie. I have an irrational fear of stinkbugs. I know all the words to the Pokemon theme song. And I’m going to need some help when it comes to asking a guy to prom. Why? Well, let’s just say my approach to guys needs some minor tweaking:

Problem 1: How I talk to guys: It’s not that I don’t talk to guys. I talk to guys all the time. I can carry on full conversations—like a normal person and everything—when I’m talking to a guy I have no interest in whatsoever. But when I like a guy, my brain turns to applesauce and I revert to three safe topics: a) school, b) college, and c) how cold it is outside. An example of a typical conversation:

Cute Guy I Like: Hey.

Me: Wow, I can’t believe Mrs. Teacher and this college essay are insanely—did you finish applying to the term paper assigned last Tuesday in the—I can’t feel my fingers.

Problem 2: How I let a guy know that I like him: I avoid him at all costs, act as if I’m unaware of his existence, and do everything in my power to make him think that I don’t like him. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Faye, with such a sure-fire guy-getting strategy, how do you not have guys all over you?” Well, Sparklers, this is probably going to sound shocking, but apparently, when you act like you don’t like a guy, said guy thinks you don’t like him. I know, it doesn’t make any sense to me either.

So, you know who I am, what I need to fix, and now onto the best part, who I like:

Chad Michael Murray
Not the real Chad Michael Murray, of course, since I’m not Hillary Duff and this isn’t A Cinderella Story, but he is an insanely attractive football-playing, AP-class-taking hunk of a guy, who also happens to be in my English class. He’s all-American-apple-pie nice, and I‘ve actually talked to him (*gasp* I know), but don’t get too excited because we’ve only ever had those homework/college-related conversations. All the girls love him, so he’s more school celebrity crush type than prom-date material, but you never know.

Penn Badgley
If you asked me three weeks ago who I wanted to take me to prom, I would have said Penn Badgley in a heartbeat. (My high school version of Penn Badgley, sillies.) He’s in my Physics class—did I mention I’m the only girl taking AP Physics?—and he’s sweet, funny, smart, and puppy dog cute in that way where you’re not sure whether you want him to give you a hug or make out with you in the rain like in The Notebook. Actually, it’s probably the second one. He has mad yo-yo skills (angular momentum rules!), he’s got my vote for best lab partner ever, and his hair does this thing where it falls in his eyes and he has to brush it out of his face, at which point I have to remind myself to pay more attention to what my teacher is saying, or else I’m going to fail physics. And I was so sure he was the perfect guy for me until…

Taylor Lautner
I fell into like like. You know, not when you like a guy, but when you like like a guy. The kind of like like that drives kindergarteners to proclaim their undying love for each other and third graders to draw hearts in their science notebooks. Anyway, I went on this weekend retreat with 50 or so other kids from my school, and HE was in my group of 7. It’s practically fate. Taylor Lautner. Hopefully you’ve figured out how these code names work. His cool level is through the roof, he’s all the good things about Penn and Chad combined, and he rocks a year-round tan. If he was any more perfect, the world would explode, spewing awesomesauce and cool beans. It would be delicious. He’s my dream prom date.

So, my goals for this week: Practice talking with Chad, try out a few physics pick-up lines on Penn (any suggestions?), and tell Taylor that I’m madly in love with him…actually, I should probably try just talking to him first.

My predictions for what you’ll be reading next time: I attempt to wave to Chad from across the school parking lot, but he doesn’t see me so I try to cover by pretending I was itching my nose. Later, I ask Penn to help me with physics and we get into a deep conversation…about college. Finally, I avoid Taylor like the plague. Or I buy a pair of confidence pants and I ask if he wants to hang out. I guess you’ll just have to wait until next time to find out. ;)

Faye

Pickup line ideas, anyone?

Related Post: How to Ask Almost Anyone to Prom