Little brothers and sisters have their rockstar moments, but when they're rooting though your closet, commandeering your computer, stealing your iPod, repeating stuff you thought you said in private, and generally messing with your life, it's hard to remember why you haven't drop-kicked them into traffic yet. The worst part is, it's kind of impossible to retaliate, because parents are awesome about unfailingly siding with "helpless" younger siblings. Since the 'rents are zero help, and baby bro and sis can be sneakier than a ninja cat about getting into your space, you need to make a preemptive strike.
1a) Roll out the red carpet—the direct approach: You know how, when you can't have something, you want it even more? Take away the "can't have" part. Welcome your little bro into your room, and really emphasize how much they should make it his own. Then, resign yourself to the fact that he'll be up in your grill for a few weeks. The good part is, once he gets used to invading your space, the promise of burping on your pillow and torturing your old Beanie Babies will probably lose its luster. Even if he relapses a little, never make a big deal of it, because if it doesn't bother you, it's going to be pointless for him.
1b) Roll out the red carpet—the "something's wrong here" approach:
You: So, this is it. My room. I really want you to feel at home here, so just come and go as you please. You don't even have to knock.
Sib: Whatever trick you're trying to pull? Not. Working. You know I'm going to be in here all the time now, right?
You: I hope you will be. I really want you to know the secrets held within these four walls. After all, we're siblings. We have the same blood. *creepy, distant stare*
Sib: Um. Yeah. [beat] You know what? Maybe I'll even have a sleepover in here.
You: Please do. What's mine is yours. It's all yours. All of it.
Sib: What?
You: Stay in here as long as you like. I hope it's forever.
Sib: Um.
You: Stay in here as long as you like. I hope it's forever.
Sib: You just said—
You: Stay in here as long as you like. I hope it's [beat] forever.
Sib: [beat] Mooooooooooooom!
2) Flip it: Become earnestly, honestly fascinated with hanging out in your sibling's room. Go through her stuff, insert yourself into her play dates, and be her older, larger shadow. If your sis complains to the folks, say, "But I just want to have a really solid bond, you know? I just love her so much." Punctuate with a small, emotional sniffle.
3) Employ psychological warfare: Sure, your brother can keep sneaking into your room, but can he honestly say he knows where Dad's electric razor is? And that he's 100% sure that tonight, while he's completely conked out, you won't slip into his room and buzz off his eyebrows? And can he be totally certain that, if he tells Mom or Dad about what you just said, you won't escalate your plan, and just shave his whole head instead? "Sleep well, lil' bro."
4) Set up a solid booby trap: A great booby trap takes a while to unfold, and has long-lasting effects. For example, does your kid sib constantly take over your computer? Install a covert keystroke logger, and record every word she types. Then, completely freak her out by emailing her the results from an alias account. Or just turn the transcript in to Mom and Dad. Either way? BUSTED.
Are your younger sibs obsessed with your room?
Related post: How to Handle Annoying Siblings
Post a comment!