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Making Soup: It's Harder Than You Think

Making Soup: It's Harder Than You Think

By Chelsea Dagger

You're a Top Chef in our book, celenne_92.—Sparkitors

Today, I embarked on a quest. There was pain, confusion, yelling, blood, sweat, and tears. This quest was one that tested my endurance, my will to live, my ability to withstand all obstacles. This quest was, according to everyone else I know, not a big deal. And in fact, maybe they're right; all I did was cook soup for the very first time.

That's right, people. I'm 18, and I just learned to cook a meal that's not scrambled eggs, eggs and bacon, egg omelets, eggs/tortillas...or anything consisting of eggs, for that matter.

And let me tell you, cooking chicken & vegetable soup is not easy. Especially when Dad suddenly comes in with a motionless chicken, drops it in your arms, and simply says, "Make soup."

From this quest, I learned eight things:

1. Cut vegetables as the pot o' water begins to boil. Otherwise, you have some very weird-looking potatoes. It isn't a big deal, really, but if you're as much of a control freak as I am, you will hate not being able to make the potatoes stop browning.

2. You can pass the time by imagining you're a witch with her giant wooden spoon and cauldron.

3. Let Dad pitch in when he feels he needs to. He will do it anyway, no matter how many times you pester him to stay out of your "test of wits."

4. Do not stare directly into the chicken's face. Just, for the love of all that is Sparklife, DON'T DO IT.

5. When I'm finally off to a college dorm, I will possess skills that many other of those students won't. Who won't be jealous of me when I'm able to cook me a basketball-sized bowl of soup on a cold, winter night and everyone else is waiting in line at the dining commons for a bowl of soup the size of a baseball? No one, that's who.

6. I can make tasty soup. The part of this that sucks is that I have now been assigned to eternal soup-making duty by the family.

7. Even my vegetarian sister felt sympathetic for me as I cleaned the chicken of its...unmentionable things. I did not dare tell her I cried a little when I saw the chicken's face, though. She would have had plenty of fun with that piece of information. Y'all better not tell her either, or I will hunt you down.

7. I must thank my bestie later for giving me soup-making directions via text messaging. Without him, I probably wouldn't have succeeded. Probably.

Maybe there are more things I have learned, but I am too mesmerized by my ability to make delectable soup to even name them all. I can't wait to learn how to cook steak on my own, later! Think of the possibilities! Steak sandwiches, steak soup, steak omelets, steak leaning tower of Pisa...

Steak soup sounds PHENOMENAL. Are there any other culinary masters out there?

Related post: How To Make Eggs (And Gain Your Independence)

Topics: Life
Tags: cooking, funny things, soup

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About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

Wanna contact a writer or editor? Email contribute@sparknotes.com.

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