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Hilarious Quotes—by Theater Geeks

Hilarious Quotes—by Theater Geeks

By Contributor

ladykaty347's collection of  hilarious quotes from the 2010 Colorado State Thespian Conference is further proof that theater geeks are absolutely insane—and we mean that as a compliment.—Sparkitors

Theater kids are an interesting breed. We’re pretty weird to start with, but throw us all together at a Colorado convention center, and the universe will explode. Really. Imagine three thousand theater kids in the same building, and then tremble out of the sheer awesomeness of it all. The following pearls of wisdom are from random strains of conversation overheard at last year’s conference. You may not know the context, but I guarantee you're gonna laugh anyways.

*“Shower’s on hold: It’s muffin time!”

*“I am planning on furthering the education of homeless Denver by chucking my AP lit copy of Crime and Punishment out the window of the hotel and hoping whoever picks it up doesn’t take it too seriously.”

*“DIBS ON THE HOTEL SOAP BARS!!!”

*“Your word is ‘Cow.'”
“May I have a definition?"
“…It’s a Cow.”
“May I have it in a sentence?”
“…Spell Cow.”

*“My personal bubble has been mercilessly shattered." (said while riding the elevator with thirty other theater kids)

*“Did you know that chugging half a bottle of honey and chewing on dried lavender flowers while running up the stairs two steps at a time and then doing a headstand for exactly forty-nine seconds before performing gets rid of stage fright?”

*“Mom…Dad…I’m a thespian.”—quoted from someone’s sweatshirt

*“I’ve been living on goldfish and clementines for three days straight. Do I LOOK happy to you?”

*“"I hereby challenge you to an epic pencil duel!”

*“Hang on, I need to get into character.” *deep breath* “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

*“Run! The techies are revolting!”

*“I still haven’t seen Harry Potter yet!”
“That’s ok, you’re nor missing much. Ron killed Harry and it turns out that Dobby is really Voldemort. Who knew.”
“WHAT?!”

*“So you know how some people resemble animals?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re a flamingo.”
“Fine. You’re a hamster.”

*“My Facebook hiatus is destroying my soul.”

*“DEATH TO CONFORMISM!” - shouted while running down the hallway brandishing the curtain rod and wearing a toga.

*“I am now a certified expert on Nacho machines. Bite me.”

*The Taming of the Shrew is THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!!”

*“I can breathe fire.”
“No you can’t.”
“Yes, I can. I just ate an entire clove of garlic.”

*“I am having a sudden strange urge to drink too much dulce de leche in Havana with a dashing mysterious stranger. Is this good or bad?”

*“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON’T YOU PEOPLE BELIEVE IN SLEEPING IN?!!!”

*"You should have seen the look on your face when you saw me."
"How'd I look?"
"Like I was a dentist. “

Still not convinced that thespians are the best thing since string cheese? Question: ARE YOU INSANE?! If you need more persuasion because you’re the stoic, serious type, picture this:  three thousand reasonably in-tune voices all singing “Seasons of Love” together. Epic.

Sounds pretty epic to us. What are your favorite quotes from theater-geek get-togethers?

Related post: A Day in the Life of a Theater Kid During Hell Week

Topics: Life
Tags: theater, hobbies, quotes, geeks, ridiculous things, funny things

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