5 Reasons Showers Are Better Than Baths
Glitter006 doesn’t care if you shower at night, in the morning, or only on leap years, so long as you don’t opt for a bath. –Sparkitors
After reading nycomic56’s pro-bath post, I felt it necessary that I write a rebuttal post. While technically the choice between baths and showers falls to your own personal preference, I'm positive my opinion is the correct one. Therefore, to back up the opinion/proven fact that showers are better than baths, I offer you my top five completely true reasons:
1. A bath fails at its very purpose. Picture this: you’re lying in the bath, relaxing, thinking all is good. Relaxing? Yeah, whatever. Now, let’s move onto the actual washing process—that’s where your troubles begin. After washing your hair and/or body (let’s hope both), you’re still covered in filthy sudsy bathwater. This is just frustrating, gross, and overall not cool. A good synonym for “bath” could be “cleanfilth,” as in, “I’m going to take a cleanfilth, be out in an hour!”
2. Baths are what Katy Perry was talking about when she wrote “Hot ‘N’ Cold.” When taking a bath, one of two things happens within 7 minutes of turning off the water: one, you slowly realize that the water is flaming hot, and you’re boiling yourself like a lobster, or two, you realize you’re in the fetal position trying to keep your body warm as the water slowly grows frigid and your teeth begin to chatter.
3. Eating and reading while bathing is unhygienic. Eating and reading while bathing is not natural. Showers were invented to cut your bathing time in half, so you can get cleaner faster and therefore have more time to read and eat—while you’re clean. (Not to mention how easily books can be ruined by baths, or baths ruined by dropped food. Gross.)
4. Baths are for sissies. If you want to be hardcore, take a shower. Who cares about relaxing? You can do that after you’re done showering, in a nice cozy bed, where you don’t have to worry about drowning. Think of the most rugged, hot, and hardcore person you know. Do you think they take a snuggly bubble bath every night? Doubtful. Highly doubtful.
5. Baths usually end with a shower anyway. This is my most important point. When was the last time you took a shower and followed it up with a bath? Yeah, not very often. But with a bath, most people can’t endure the awfulness of dirty water for long, and soon find themselves pulling the plug and turning on the shower.
We’re too busy fishing our Snickers bar out of the bathwater to weigh in on this debate. Sparklers?
Related post: 15 Reasons Why Baths Are Where It’s At
You can bathe, you can shower, or you can just run through sprinklers and use the time you save to write for SparkNotes!