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What Your Place in the Birth Order Says About You

What Your Place in the Birth Order Says About You

flyergirl13 knows what she's talking about. We suspect her research involved much study of the Weasley family in action. –Sparkitors

Do you have a bossy older sibling? Or a pesky younger one? Better yet, are you both the bossy older sibling AND the pesky younger sibling? Birth order will affect you throughout your life, so I conducted a scientific* survey to illuminate your true personality depending on your birth rank. Which category do you fit into? Well, it all depends on your parents. When they went to the baby store (right next to the Ikea) to pick you out, they got to choose where in the birth order you would go. So whenever you're cursing being the oldest/middle/youngest child, just remember: it's your parents' fault. Blame them. Here's a handy guide to birth order, so you know exactly what your lot in life will be.


Oldest Child

You get everything first. You drive first, go to high school first, get to bring home an S.O. first.  Sometimes, it's all good, like when you're practicing the inalienable right to boss around your younger siblings. Sometimes, not so much, like when your parents brag about the first time you went in the toilet. Basically, you get to be special, whether you like it or not. You will either embrace your specialness and power and become the CEO of a major company, or you will reject it and become one of the dancers in an identically dressed cancan line.

Middle Child
What would an Oreo be without the cream? You're crucial to keeping your older and younger siblings on speaking terms. You're able to be close to both of them as well as the link between them. You're also the referee and peacekeeper. Middle children sometimes feel left out, but embrace that. Exclusion is a fact of life, and you get to learn how to handle it from an early age. Yay? You will make a very good social worker or cop. Conversely, you might become the singer, guitarist, and drummer of a celebrated one-man band, just so you won't have to deal with peoples' fights anymore.

Youngest Child
You're the baby of the family, and, unfortunately, your older sibling(s) will still treat you like a baby until you're 45. In fact, if you don't toughen up and stop crying by age 2, you'll be deemed a crybaby until well past your 20th wedding anniversary. But your parents will always cut you some slack, because hey, you're the baby of the family! You will either go into a low-stress profession such as surf instructor to keep the easy times rolling, or you will be driven to overcome your family's coddling by getting a shark-feeding job at an aquarium. Either way, all youngest children will have a job that involves a lot of swimming. It's a little-known scientific fact.

Only Child

You have no siblings, and therefore no one to tease or be teased by. You have your parents all to yourself, but, then again, there's nobody around to understand how crazy your parents can be. You will probably become a fighter pilot or an Artic explorer, unless your relatively solitary childhood drives you to seek out a position as a high-school principal or owner of a summer camp.

Sometimes you guys love each other, and sometimes you're at each others throats. Either way, there's always some built-in competition there, whether you like it or not. You will either live together and open an awesome joke-shop business, or take identical jobs on opposite sides of the country.

Not a Child At All
You were born directly into adulthood. You simply came to being without having to deal with siblings or anything. You're probably the Doctor or something.

Where are you in the birth order?

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Topics: Life
Tags: sparkler posts, siblings, birth order

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