Flyergirl13 Tells You How...To Procrastinate Effectively
flyergirl13 is a master of procrastination—and you can be too!—Sparkitors
Procrastination is a fact of life. It's like secretly snacking on chocolate chips—we all do it, but no one will admit it. Procrastination is going to happen, no matter how valiantly we fight against it; it's like, our destiny! The best thing to do once you understand that procrastination is inevitable is to learn how to make the best use of it. So read my guide right now—or read it later. Whenever you can fit it in.
Step One: Accept That Procrastination is A Fact Of Life
Okay, everyone got that? On the count of three... One... Two... Three... ACCEPT! That was easy, wasn't it? We can just skip the rest of this step and move on.
Step Two: Decide What To Procrastinate On
It's a tough decision. Should you procrastinate on your APUSH essay or on your math homework? It's all up to personal preference, really. Do you prefer procrastinating on big things or little things? Completely psychological.
DO: Make a pro/con list to choose which assignments to procrastinate on. Considering this decision doesn't actually mean anything, this is a great way to procrastinate your procrastination.
DON'T: Make an entire flowchart complete with pop-up tabs and stickers. I mean, we're all about wasting time, but dude, that's a bit much.
Step Three: Make A Sign
What's the point of procrastinating if you (and everyone else) doesn't know about it? Make a big sign declaring your state of procrastination. People might come in and congratulate you. Or slap you. Whatever.
DO: Hang it in a noticeable place, in order to spread the word. Suggestions: your bedroom door, your school's web site, the bulletin board downtown, a billboard on the highway, or a flag above the White House.
DON'T: Be too braggy. People don't really like that.
Step Four: Eat Bananas
Why? Because they're good for you? And if you're sitting around all day procrastinating, why not?
Step Five: Done Yet?
Yeah, I thought so. Whether the idea of unfinished homework drives you crazy, your cheeks are burning from too much slapping, or the President called to complain about the flag, I'm guessing you're done with this bout of procrastination.
DO: Make it into a game. Time yourself to see how long you can do work before restarting this cycle. My record is about 7.93 seconds. Can you beat it?
DON'T: Start slapping yourself because you're angry at yourself for procrastinating. We accepted that this would happen! Remember step one?! Besides, you've had a lot of slaps already. Give your face a break. Jeez.
Give us your best procrastination tips—we've got a lot of work that we're trying to avoid.
Related post: Flyergirl Tells You How