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Confessions of a College Matchmaker: How YOU Doin'?

Confessions of a College Matchmaker: How YOU Doin'?

By Contributor

emMCie 's matchmaking for TWO of her friends. emMCie, we hope you're charging big bucks for this. —Sparkitors

“So, baby.....did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

As you might have guessed, this installment is all about the art of the pickup line. It's also about my newest client. She owns an airzooka! She loves Dr. Who! She’s my best new friend...SHE’S THE GIRL WHO LIVES BELOW ME!!!

And recently, it was discovered that one of my fencing friends just happens to be the “super cute” guy in her physics class she’s been crushing on. Fate strikes again! So, enter the Potential Epee Fencer Match....aka PEPEE!

The best part of this whole scenario: I didn’t even have to set them up on a date! This week, Miss-Below-Me and PEPEE were invited on the same physics field trip....to visit a particle accelerator. And what’s sexier than a particle accelerator? I’ll tell you what: NOTHING. Unless, of course, it's pickup lines involving particle accelerators.

At this point in my entry, I’d like to set the record straight. Not all pickup lines are bad! There are, in fact, two distinct ways to make pickup lines entirely acceptable. The first is to use the old cliches in an obvious manner, so that the desired receiver knows you are not taking the statement seriously. The goal is to get your target to laugh, which breaks the ice, which allows the flirter an opening for conversation. The second appropriate manner is to be creative and invent your own pickup lines. Oftentimes, the receiver will be impressed with your originality, and therefore give you a chance. The important thing to remember is that the pickup line itself is not enough to get someone to fall head-over-heels for you. It is only the beginning. The rest of the conversation should, in contrast, be genuine.

For those who may be taking a field trip to a particle accelerator with their crush, here’s some brilliance to get the conversation started:

Those particles seem pretty attracted to each other. And by “particles,” I meant “us.”

You know what's more fulfilling than slamming particles together? Dinner.

After all my hard work brainstorming appropriate pickup lines, you know what happened? NOTHING. Because PEPEE skipped the field trip. However, he did send Miss-Below-Me a Facebook friend request. And because she has decided to take up fencing with me next semester, they are sure to see more of each other. So I’m not writing PEPEE off my list just yet. Maybe someday soon, instead of slamming particles together, they’ll be slamming swords.

Related post: Confessions of a College Matchmaker: Potential Match #1

Topics: Life, College Advisor
Tags: pickup lines, confessions of a college matchmaker

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