Stocking Stuffer FAILs

The stocking is the amuse-bouche of Christmas Day. It should prep your palate, keep you occupied until the main event, and set the tone for the big reveal. Sadly, the stocking is often overlooked until a last-minute trip to Walgreen's. Don't be afraid to send this list to Santa Claus as a friendly reminder of what NOT to put in your stocking:

• A book on nineteenth-century cobbling practices
• Pencils
• Batteries

• Anything labeled "pharmaceutical-grade"
• A rubber band ball starter kit
• Deodorant
• A graphing calculator
• Questionable, if funny, buttons
• Uncut keys
• A half-eaten candy bar
• Tampons
• Any self-help book
• Coal
• Disposable razors
• Candy canes
• Flash cards
• Complimentary pens
• Postal stamps
• Ice
• Tupperware
• Hammers
• A live dead fish
• A stapler
• Air fresheners
• Sugar-free chocolate

What's the worst thing you've ever gotten in your stocking?

Related post: What Your Stocking Says About You