8 Reasons I Love Hanukkah

thelastcard makes some solid points; after all, you can't really argue with Adam Sandler.—Sparkitors

After reading violet_hill1944's post, So What's The Deal With Hanukkah?, I noticed the Sparkitors' note at the bottom: violet's was the first Hanukkah post ever to appear on SparkLife! I knew I had to help introduce more Sparklers to the magic of Hanukkah, so I decided to write my own post: the 8 reasons I love Hanukkah!

1. Hanukkah is eight times longer than Christmas. You can't fault this logic. One full day of presents=awesome. Eight full days of presents=awesome x 8. You can't argue with math (mostly because it's so confusing).

2. Birthday parties are so overrated. I mean, come on! Every dad, uncle, nephew, niece, cousin, dog, cat, snake, lizard, goldfish, and their Aunt Margie has a birthday party. But a miracle party? Now that's original!

3. Pyromania. Hanukkah's called the Festival of Lights for a reason, guys. Generally, parents allow their kids to start lighting the candles in the second or third grade, letting their inner pyro shine through. Does any other holiday encourage young children to light things on fire? I think not.

4. Oily foods. This holiday is all about the oily foods. You are literally commanded to eat them in order to remember the miracle of Hanukkah.This means that God wants you to a) get a heart attack and b) eat as many latkes and jelly doughnuts as possible! These foods are basically Jewish ambrosia.

5. Gambling. Yes, it's actually legal for people under 21 to gamble on Hanukkah. "How?" you may ask. Well, I've got one word for you: Dreidel! It's like the kiddy version of gambling, with a spinning top, Hebrew letters, and, instead of money, chocolate coins! And we all know that in today's economy, tasty gold-wrapped chocolate coins are much more useful than actual cash.

6. Adam Sandler. Seriously, how can you beat his Hanukkah song?

7. Eight is my favorite number. Me=awesome (not to have a big head or anything). My favorite number=awesome. 8=awesome. Therefore, Hanukkah must be awesome. It's infallible logic!

8. Convenient excuses. Chatting with someone online that you don't particularly like? If you want to get out of that conversation fast, you can just say, "Oops! I've got to go light my menorah! It's an incredibly complex ritual that could take hours. Bye!" Note: this tactic works best if your friend isn't Jewish or doesn't know much about Judaism. Otherwise, it could backfire.

All this talk about fried doughnuts is making us really, really hungry...

Related post: So What's The Deal With Hanukkah?