Unless you're a farmer, the end of daylight saving time stinks. One day you're chasing lightning bugs and watching the sun set half an hour before bed; the next, a cloak of darkness descends at 4:30 in the afternoon. Already, shorter winter days have us burning our retinas and getting thrown out of pet stores for hugging all the puppies. Setting our clocks back is just adding insult to injury.
Nevertheless, brave Sparklers, we will not go gentle into that good night! We will rage, rage against the dying of the light! Take heart, and follow these Eskimo-approved strategies for enjoying your black winter outdoor evenings, DST and all.
1. Install stadium-style flood lights in a circle around your house—better yet, your neighborhood.
2. Invest in a winter supply of glow jewelry. Sell your surplus to ravers at the end of the season. Purchase a celebratory Slip-n-Slide with your profit.
3. Trick out your antique sled with headlights and LED underglow.
4. Buy a neon snowsuit.
5. Play flashlight tag.
6. Play coal miner.
7. Pick out new constellations in the night sky. Ones to look for: Dantuty, Leo DiCapricorn, Corona Borealis with Lime, MRSA Major.
8. Screw sight. Embrace your inability to see your hand in front of your face and your other senses will become more heightened. Was that a mouse farting you just heard?
9. Stock a kiddie pool with goldfish. Let freeze overnight. Go ice fishing.
10. Eat radioactive plutonium. It will keep you warm and make you glow in the dark. It might also turn you into a Minotaur.
How do you keep the fun going now that it's dark at noon?
Related post: How Not to Be Sad Because of SAD
Topics: Life
Tags: seasonal affective disorder, daylight savings, winter, the dark, night
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