How to Make a Duct Tape Dress
We've got a feeling that cryptoquip3 is a future Project Runway contestant!—Sparkitors
I made a duct tape dress for Halloween this year, and it was an absurdly difficult task, mainly because my friend and I couldn't find any proper directions on the internet. So I'm here to I am here to fill that information gap: I'll tell you how to make a dress of your own, and I'll also explain why duct-tape dressmaking requires the mad skills of a construction worker, an artist, and an acrobat.
Step One: Grab those car keys and head out: you've got to go buy your material. Duct tape is plasticized awesomesauce; as such, it's sold at most large retail stores. So grab a basket and stock up—you're going to need lots of it. Now here's where the artistry comes in: it's time to choose your colors! Pick them carefully, because after you spend hours sweating over 20 billion rolls of duct tape, you will never want to wear your dress again—so you better really love it the one time you do wear it. Also, I recommend getting a dress pattern, 'cause it will help when it comes to fitting the duct tape to your gawgeous body.
Step Two: Slap on your construction hat, because it's time to make the material. Find a rugless floor, and start laying out strips of duct tape, sticky side up, slightly overlapping each other. Duct tape sticks to any available surface like lint sticks to a lollipop, and it sticks to itself like your tongue sticks to an iron pole in 20 degree weather. (Read: Do not let the duct tape fold over on itself, because the duct tape will never, ever un-stick itself. Trust me. I know this from experience.) Once you have enough duct tape laid out, take some cotton cloth (cheap, and it won't scratch the skin) and lay it over the sticky side. After you've done that, cut out the proper shapes from the dress pattern you bought, trace 'em on the cotton side of the duct tape material, and cut the pieces out.
Step Three: This is the hardest step of the process. I like to compare it to Frodo climbing Mount Doom at the end of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy: he's been through a lot, and this last home stretch might kill him. STAY STRONG, FRODO. Ahem. You've got to keep your chin up as you start to fit the material together. My friend and I had particular trouble over the bust darts. Yup, those things came out really... sharp. And pointy. It was a dark time, but we forged through: in the end we fixed it by folding them down and laying a small strip of tape over the affected area. For everything else, just tape it all together!
Step Four: Remember, the good thing about duct tape is that it's TAPE. If there's a hole, or a bulge (and there will be bulges), you can just tape it down and the problem will be fixed. Also, remember that you can make accessories too! I've got a duct tape headband, a duct tape bolero, and duct-taped shoes to go with my dress. It took about six hours of agony, but it's totally worth it when you see the end result.
So to anyone who's attempting to make a duct tape dress, remember the three P's: Patience, Perseverance, and Platitude! (I just put "platitude" in there so I could have a third P. Go with it.)
Anyone else ever attempted a duct tape dress? How about duct tape pants? Duct tape moon boots?