Hanging Out with Jazzy: How to Make Everything Awkward
villanous_mwaha, aka Jazzy, is THE ORIGINAL SparkLife columnist! We must offer a word of caution about this post, though: Some of these suggestions could probably result in a detention. Just sayin'! —Sparkitors
I recently created a little thing I like to call MAKE EVERYTHING AWKWARD WEEK! In honor of this most excellent and glorious week, my best friend and I have created a list of things you can do to make everything awkward, and how many awkward points you can obtain from each awkward action. Prepare yourself for some VERY awkward turtles:
- Squeeze random person's hand (must be of the opposite sex) (1pt)
- Run your hand up and down friend’s legs (2pts)
- Stroke the backs of various people (1pt)
- Go behind someone and whisper in his/her ear, “You smell…SO good...” (2pts)
- Stare creepily at someone and say, “I had a dream about you last night.” (3pts)
- In the middle of a group of people declare, “I am sooooo horny!” (3pts)
- In the same situation, pretend you're making out with someone. Get really into it—sounds are key! (5pts)
- (For girls) Get someone alone and say that it’s time you told them about your first period. If the go with it...run. (5pts)
- Any that’s what he/she said jokes (1pt)
- Stroke someone’s face and look deep into their eyes. (2pts)
- Touch someone’s hair lightly and whisper, “Wow...” (2pts)
- Take someone’s hand. Lick it. (3pts)
- Let out a silent-but-deadly, then smile as people realize. (5pts)
- Declare loudly that you reeeeeally need a poo! (3pts)
- Lick someone’s face. (4pts)
- Stare at someone and say, “Your eyes are sooo dreamy!” (2pts)
- Squeeze someone’s belly. (2pts)
- Stare at someone’s left ear while looking worried. (2pts)
- Stare at someone’s crotch area while looking worried. (4pts)
- Poke someone’s bum. (5pts)
- Go up to a stranger and say, “Thank you for last night,” wink, and walk away. (3pts)
- For those lucky enough to be in a relationship, kiss your SO in front of someone else. (2pts)
- Unexpected piggyback! (2pts)
- Unexpected piggyFRONT! (4pts)
Note: Be careful when piggyback/fronting people, DO NOT do it to people in heels, as my friend did to me today. I slipped and collapsed in the school corridor. Luckily, I was laughing the whole time, BUT it could have gone very wrong, so please exercise caution with your awkwardness.
What's the most awkward thing you've ever done on purpose?
Related Post: Awkward Turtle!
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