The Friday Awards

This week, NightOwlGirl14 represents HADS to bring you The Friday Awards! —Sparkitors

Hey Sparklers!

It’s Friday! Welcome to the Friday Awards! This Sparklewarder spent all week trying on obnoxious makeup for a play, watching too many YouTube videos, and not hyperventilating over all the awesomeness that is happening this weekend in the form of Harry Potter. Why on Earth would we hyperventilate? *starts hyperventilating from excitement*

Well, now that we managed to calm down enough to type, we should probably get on with the awards.

First, a note from HADS. We try our best to get the Friday Awards to the Sparkitors in time for them to get posted on Fridays, but sometimes things go wrong. So to everyone complaining about them being posted late sometimes, we really are sorry. We do our best. Hugs?

This week’s thing to think about is: would you rather have to dig a hole to the other side of the Earth (assuming you wouldn’t die) or build a ladder to the moon?

Now, the awards!

The Next Shakespeare Award goes to shinyninja for this comment on last week’s Friday Awards:

My Eraser (Writen in Slightly Messed Up Iambic Pentameter, Maybe)

The pink and purple rubber is softly
Rubbed against the page

Designs inked in purple splendor are seen
In mystic ellipses on back of it.

Tis used 'pon daily errs on notebook sheets
Till eventually it will be worn 'way.

O bright it is now and bright twill always
Remain, if only in my memory.

The We Are Insanely Jealous Award goes to A-Wingfan for this comment on the same post:

My coolest eraser was definitely the Anakin Skywalker one. With him in his podracing outfit from Episode I. I still have it in the original packaging, I could never bear to use it.

The Bacon Loves You, Too award goes to RabidWrackspurt for a comment on this bacon post:

I love bacon with the burning passion of a thousand suns. It has taken me far in my life. It got me a job, a house, and an education. Also, a pony. And it sped up the healing of my chipped tooth.

BACON.

The You're Making Me Hungry award goes to midnight_masquerade for this comment on the same post:

and now a poem:
oh bacon how i love thee
when you're fresh and sizzling
i nom nom nom thee
my love for you is not fizzling
when you're cooking
i just want to stand there
staring, looking,
smelling! no i won't share
my love for you grows
every single breakfast
and every sparkler knows
to nom it is a must
but alas, tragedy has struck
i don't know how to say this but
my mother thinks it's yuck
i know you're thinking "what?"
but my artery clogging meaty love
is artery cloggingly unhealthy
such a sad tragedy

The Couch Potato Award goes to sgtpepper191 for her comment on this soccer practice post:

Ha, I quit soccer years ago. WAAY too much running. *plops on the couch and eats potato chips*

The Useful Dog Award goes to InsaneRunningKid for this comment on the getting yourself out of bed post:

I sleep with my dog and if I don't wake up at precisely 6:30 AM then he will get up, whine, and pee on me. So I usually get up.

The Your Subconscious Is Very Clever Award goes to coasterIB15 for this comment on the same post:

I have a feeling none of these will work for me. I bought the most annoying alarm on the planet. I just turn it off without realizing what I'm doing. Then I decided to set it ahead. When it did wake me up, I just pressed snooze and went back to bed. Then I decided to hide it across my room and under a pile of clothes. Unconciously I will unplug the darn thing.

The Obligatory Harry Potter Reference Number One Award goes to RabidWrackspurt for her comment on this Auntie SparkNotes post about cliques:

@wamavian, YES. Just yes. There's a reason why Hermione never hangs out with the Lavender Brown Crowd. She's smart. She has good friends. And those friends are not petty, cruel, or selfish.

The Logic is an Amazing Thing Award goes to Kaos93 for a comment on the Auntie SparkNotes lights go out post:

I was somewhat scared of the dark when I was younger (though not anywhere near your extent), and one thing that really helped me was to realize that a dark room is the exact same as a light room, but not illuminated.

Beyond that, when I freak out at night, I read comic books (usually Calvin and Hobbes) until I'm not afraid any more.

I also like to think of the probabilities of whatever I'm afraid will come and get me in the dark actually coming to get me in the dark, because they are usually staggeringly low. Like, how many times has a demon clown snuck into my room with a giant knife before? ZERO. How many times has a demon clown snuck into ANYONE'S room with a giant knife before? ZERO. What are the chances that tonight is the night that happens, and it happens to me? Also basically zero. And if it did, worst that can happen is I die, which is not actually super scary compared to just the idea of the clown with a knife, somehow.

And then I feel safer. (Also I am a huge math nerd, so logic is my security blanket.)

The BOO! Award goes to DontWorryBeHappy:) for this comment on the same post:

You want to hear something even stranger than being scared of the dark? I'm scared of MY BATHROOM. I've seen too many movies where people look in a bathroom mirror and MURDERER/DEMON POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE. Same goes for pulling back the shower curtain and basically just turning around in general in that room.

I'm also scared of things jumping out at me. You know when people try to scare you by tapping you from behind and saying "Boo"? I scream. Every time. It's not a a little yelp either, it's a legit "the person behind me is going to kill me" scream.

The Preferred Method of Spider Crushing award goes to nonickname34 for a comment on this week's Blogging The Scarlet Letter:

Ahhhhhhh! There was just an intruder rappelling from my ceiling. It's okay though, I smushed his guts out.
(He was a spider. He now rests in peace beneath a very heavy binder. That is my preferred method of killing spiders because I don't have to get too close to them to throw a book on top of them. Then I just leave the book there so that someone else can clean up the spider guts. yay for shirking responsibility!)

Hmmm, nicknames..... Hessy. Hessian. Hester Wester bo-bester, banana-fanna, fo-fester, me-mi-mo-mester, Hester!

The Great Job Defending Something You Don't Even Like! award goes to InsaneRunningKid for a comment on this anti-tomato soup post:

Okay...ten reasons why tomato soup is NOT bad (and I actually hate tomato soup, so this'll be hard):

1. It's red, and red is the color of fire trucks, and fire trucks save lives.
2. Tomatoes have antioxidants and other healthy goodness.
3. It's not tofurkey.
4. If you get sprayed by a skunk and take a bath in tomato soup, the stink goes away. I think.
5. Tomato soup was incremental to the survival of Aeneas during the Trojan War, so he could found Rome and make movies of super ripped dudes wearing nothing but an armor skirt.
6. 24% of all Martians like tomato soup.
7. I like enchiladas.
8. They serve it at Panera Bread.
9. It's sustenance.
10. LOOK!!! A NAKED PENGUIN DOING THE MACARENA!!!

Okay, so I don't like tomato soup. Big deal.

The Pretty Please Make Us One, Too? award goes to BlueBox1292 for a comment on this post about winter hats:

I have the ultimate weapon in finding the ULTIMATE HAT!
What's that, you ask? I knit. That's right.
*Cheesy announcer voice* Why go out shopping when you can MAKE YOUR OWN? That's right, super-amazing customizable hats can be YOURS in ANY COLOR for the LOW LOW PRICE of YARN!
Knittingneedlesandtenhoursoffreetimenecessary. Knittingdoesnotguaranteeaperfecthateverytime. Batteriesnotincluded.

Speaking of things that go *chomp*...http://www.cyn.ca/knit/patterns/brainmonster/

Enjoy.

All the apologies in the comments on this Dan post get an Awesome Apologies Award, because it was impossible to choose among them, and there were just so many good ones.

LOL Points to these comments on the funny teacher/crazy teacher post:

From Leenii:

My english teacher who is also the dean of students (i go to an all girls school by the way) rode one of those projector things around the classroom. So here's how it went...
Him: I bet you i can ride this thing around the classroom and ride it like a horse...
The class: ummm , how about you dont?
Him: oh, come on it'll be fun! (climbs on projector thing) Come on, someone give me a push!
(girl in front row pushes him.)
Him: yeehaww!!! wooo, ride em cowboy...
Girls in class: uhmm..... weird much
then he justs gets off & gets back to teaching our lesson

From jedimastermegan:

I had a teacher that made me cry in class once because he yelled at me for talking in a test. A test which hadn't started yet. I hadn't been talking anyway, the boy who was didn't get his test taken away. BUT I DID. ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. HE TRIED TO FAIL ME ON THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. (It was a fiasco. I ended up with an A. PHEW.)

He also offered my friends and I keys to his cabin. Also, he called my friend and I the most attractive girls in school and said that if he were younger he'd be chasing me all over town. Also, he never taught math very well and if you brought him baseball shaped cookies you got an A and didn't have to take a test and if you drew baseballs on your homework you got extra credit. At the end of the term he would ask you what grade you wanted and he would give it to you.

Needless to say, after having him for two years, I have no idea what numbers even are anymore.

TL;DR I had a pervy nutso teacher who made me cry and didn't grade fairly and now I suck at math.

From rasta.soul29:

My english teacher is currently crossing THE line. He must and should stop screaming and blazing "SPEAK ENGLISH" or "FIX YOUR SHIRT, THEN YOUR FACE", to us, the hall-way crossing pupils. We need our space, and we most definitely need it at 6:30 in the morning!

From jewbiegirl:

My teacher 2 years ago freaked out when I did well on a test.

"Darling, are you sure you're okay? When I was a little girl I did well on all of my tests and was very unhappy, and had no life."

"Yes Mrs., I'm fine thank you."

"Are you sure? If you ever need to come talk to someone, I will always be here for you."

"I'M. FINE. THANK YOU."

From CrayonsPink:

My English teacher is awesome. She dressed like Professor McGonagall (from Harry Potter, for the unenlightened people out there) the other day, showed us 20 minutes of a comedian named Stevn Wright the other day, AND gives us open-note quizzes. How much more awesome can you get????

From kwuel:

Yesterday, we gave my art teacher lollies. As it turns out, sugar affects her in approximately the same way as it affects my nine-year-old brother. It was awesome. 'Nuf said.

From Kintexu:

I have gone to a Middle/High school combination for 7 years, and I've had the same Theatre Tech teacher all 7 years. Favorite teacher ever. Anytime we are about to do something dangerous (like lifting the second story of a set up on top of the first), he will always say something to the effect of "If you see me running, try to get in front."

The Great Advice Award goes to Kaos93 for this comment on the wooing a Harry Potter fan post:

Great tips.
Make sure to stay away from Mistletoe - full of Nargles.

The Perfect Pick-Up Line award goes to Dearestmoo on the wooing a Harry Potter fan post:

here's my harry potter pick up line:
"If you were a dementor, I'd kill a man just to get a kiss from you."

The Bad Beach Memories award goes to fencergal96 for a comment on this post about what guys should never wear:

*sheepishly adds to list* erm....speedos, anyone? Or is that just me?

The Amazing Poetry award goes to horcruxesgotsoul for a comment on Blogging Breaking Dawn 21:

D on't say you deny it
A lthough you may try
N ow I know, Dan B, that we're
B FFs, and I'm so happy I could die.
E ach post I'm addicted, so I was
R eally excited when I found it.
G reat scott, he used my birthday!
S o in cyberspace, Dan, we must POUND IT!
T o choose August 20th,
E ven just to get some laughs
I t makes me so happy that
N ow I can stop flexing my calves.

The We Feel Your Pain award goes to InsaneRunningKid on the Auntie SparkNotes: Pancake-Stealers and Over-Steppers post:

My best friend is a dude, and he steals my notebook paper, not my pancakes. He also steals my tater tots, which makes me mad. I mean, a girl can only handle someone swiping their delicious fried potato morsels for so long, even if the swiper is her best friend! He's also a total geek. I love that kid.

The Amazing Plot Twist award goes to BlueBox1292 on the Blogging Wuthering Heights post:

Well of course Heathcliff will use his mole-herds to tunnel to Thrusscross Grange and kill Edgar in his sleep with the ressurected knife-gun. Then he'll dig up Cathy and they'll live as Foot-Punch Man and Miss Captain Crazy-Pants. Which will be wayyy ahead of its time because...well...pants.

The Don’t We All? Award goes to Lady_Sunshine3 for this comment on the Megamind post:

i wish i had a blue head like that

gummybeararmygeneral’s Sparkler of the Week goes to: ThePlottingNovelist for her eraser collection that sounds awesome and to saranvd for her Death Eater disguised as Mrs. Weasley costume. We want a picture of that, by the way. gummybeararmygeneral, when this was written, could not decide what to go as. She either went as Hermione, because she has the perfect Hermione hair, or as a wizard trying to dress like a Muggle (and if you’ve read the books, you know how funny that can be). For next week’s award, tell us in the comments the weirdest Thanksgiving tradition you have.

Have a great weekend!