Blogging Wuthering Heights: Part 20

By Contributor

November 19, 2010

20 weeks of Wuthering Heights?! Coffinmaker, we think you just made Bella smile. —Sparkitors

Chapters XXIV-XXV

Dead Cathy's daughter Cathy is getting more and more worldly by the moment. In the last chapter, she was engaging in a not-so-long-distance relationship, and now she's sneaking out of the house to see the li'l mastulator, Linton.

Nelly was down with the cold, so when she thought Cathy was away amusing herself, the girl was actually over at Wuthering Heights. Nelly, of course, couldn't get up and check because of her illness.

But when Nelly is feeling better one night, she goes to Cathy's room and catches Cathy sneaking back in through the window.

Nelly: So where have you been, little lass?
Cathy: Uh...I went for a walk in the garden.
Nelly: And through the window, I see.
Cathy: It was a, um, an obstacle course. It ended with a rock climbing competition. I was competing with the stable boys. (Sticks head out the window) Suck on THAT, stable boys!
Nelly: Yeah...

So it all comes out—Cathy tells Nelly everything. She says Linton has been doing better since she's been visiting him, and they've only gotten in a fight once, and it was over something really stupid. But I'll tell y'all about it, because it shows what a no-life pansy Linton is.

The two are talking about the perfect way to spend a perfect day, which is the title of their duet in Wuthering Heights the Musical. Linton thinks the perfect way to spend a perfect day is to just lie on a hill and do nothing and listen to everything. Cathy would rather swing, skip and jump, and have a cacophony of bird-song all around her.

Linton says he'd get a headache during her perfect day. She says she'd fall asleep during his, and they get in a fight.

Yep. That's what they do to pass the time during their visits.

When Nelly finds out, she tells Edgar and he bans her from visiting Linton again. However, this time he says Linton can visit her if he wants to. Edgar Linton—Little Linton's father—is starting to lose health, and he wants Cathy to be married before he dies, sooo...

My thoughts after reading this chapter: I wonder if Mr. Kenneth and the Bat Hawk Gang from Chapter Twelve have been watching this development. They know everything, so probably.

Daddy Fruit Bat (aka Mr. Kenneth): Alright, Little Bloodsucker, what's the scoop on the moth and the butterfly?
Little Bloodsucker: The butterfly has flown the chrysalis, I repeat, the butterfly has flown the chrysalis!
DFB: That's bad news for the stick bug.
LB: Sure is—er, the stick bug? Oh, yeah. The stick bug. Him.
DFB: If the butterfly and the moth do the mating dance, the Asian Yak-Killing Hornet will own both hives!
LB: The Asian what-what?
DFB: Come on, Li'l Bloodsucker. I gave you that list to memorize. You should know these names by now.
LB: Well excuse me for having a life! I don't have the time to assign an obscure insect codename to every person in this whole freakin' town! And because I tried, I accidentally called my date "Flat Rock Scorpion" the other night! You can guess how that date went.
DFB: Was she a zoologist?
LB: Shut up.

In the next chapters: Linton feels like has to prove his manliness to Cathy to win her heart.

Linton: Cathy, Cathy! Come here!
Cathy: Yes, pudding biscuit?
Linton: Look at this!
Cathy: Your lip, dear turkey stuffing?
Linton: No! My soul patch!
Cathy: Your sour patch...
Linton: My soul patch. Don't you see it?
Cathy: Er, yes. Beautiful, my gravy boat.
Linton: Not beautiful. Manly.
Cathy: Yes, apple dumpling.
Linton: And I ate a whole pizza by myself. That's real manly.
Cathy: Yes, my dear potsticker, it is.
Linton: Only took me a month. And three sets of dentures for Joseph, since they kept falling out and breaking when he regurgitated the anchovies for me to eat.
Cathy: But you paid for them in a manly way, didn't you, my little spoon of cough syrup?
Linton: I also started a WoW account today.