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How Not To Be Sad Because of SAD

How Not To Be Sad Because of SAD

By Jon_Skindzier

Sometimes it's tough being a human. Too much sun and we get skin cancer; not enough sun and we get Seasonal Affective Disorder, conveniently nicknamed SAD. SAD is the condition wherein you, uh, run out of Brain Chemicals, or have too many Opposite Brain Chemicals. Okay fine, nobody really knows, especially not us. But the basic idea is that decreased daylight makes your brain even less helpful than it already is, and all you want to do is lie around and sleep and ignore your dumb lame friends because they are stupid.

We're going to suggest some remedies here in a minute, but first, please note that Sparklife is not a human doctor. The Sparkitors and Sploggers are attractive geniuses, true, and most of us wear stethoscopes at all times (long story), but if you struggle with serious seasonal depression, talk to someone more responsible than we are. We're probably just going to wind up prescribing "hug ten puppies," because that is what we prescribe for everything. Now, onto our list:

1.) Get Creative With Your Interior Decorating
What's this "November" everybody is talking about? Sorry, chumps, this calendar says "July," and it's positioned right between a palm tree made out of cardboard and a smiley-face sun made out of construction paper.

Winter is typified by sad, lifeless colors, so be sure to make use of as many happy shades as you can. Paint your walls pink. Paint your dog yellow. Eat only things that are orange. Speak redly.

2.) Start Planning Your Snowman
Work on your diagrams. Calculate angles and masses and slush viscosity. You need to start now, because you are going to sculpt the most ridiculous possible snowman. People will drive from miles around. News correspondents will camp out in your street. When throngs of admirers ask what team of world-renowned artists created this three-story masterpiece, you'll say, "What team has two thumbs and no trace of Seasonal Affective Disorder? This guy right here."

3.) Stare Directly at the Sun One of Those SAD Lamps
Unfortunately, since nothing is ever easy, you can't just make up for lost daylight by staring at the sun, because it's kind of a jerk and will permanently blind you. They do, however, make fake sun for you to put in your room. The light is supposed to trick your brain into being less emo. But you know what else will do the same thing, probably?

4.) Obligatory Suggestion Involving Puppies
Seriously, just put yourself in a position to be frolicking around with puppies as often as possible. Yes, we say this all the time, but come on. Look at them. Look at these puppies.

5.) Take Up (Or Invent) Some Winter Sports
Quick, there's no time to be depressed! You're late for Winterball, and today is the septuplefinals!

What's that? "There's no such thing as septuplefinals" and "What the dang is Winterball?" Well, we know, and we don't know, respectively. It doesn't matter what Winterball is, or whether or not the Winterball uniform is a tutu with a number on the back (although we strongly recommend this). The idea is just to find a sport, any sport. Suggestion: start practicing for NCAA Quidditch.

6.) Basically Just Do Anything, At All
The best way not to be moping around in the dark anymore is to stop moping around in the dark. Almost anything you can think of that isn't illegal or immoral will probably make you feel at least sorta better about yourself, and even the smallest sense of accomplishment will go a long way. Take a walk. Draw Transformers having a political debate. Buy a fish. Talk to your fish. There are no bad ideas here.

What do you do to combat SAD?

Related Post: The Worst Love Songs for Heartbroken Teens

Topics: Life
Tags: boredom, depression, winter, boredom busters, seasonal affectiveness disorder

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