A Gazillion Reasons Why Tomato Soup Is Great
Yesterday, Maiden Warrior unwittingly started a war when she issued a challenge: list 10 reasons why tomato soup doesn't suck. Tomato-soup-lovin' Sparklers everywhere bombarded us with posts—check out their delicious arguments below! —Sparkitors
From nerd_alert: Challenge accepted, Maiden Warrior. Here are ten reasons why tomato soup is the greatest soup out there:
1. Red is an awesome color. It's the color of love. Ergo, tomato soup=red, red=love, tomato soup=love. BOOM.
2. Chunky soup is disgusting. I eat soup so I can brag about about drinking my dinner, not so I have to chew tiny pieces of fake meat.
3. Ketchup, tomato sauce, tomato juice. Anything that has to do with tomatoes always tastes good, no matter what.
4. It smells awesome. Seriously. Open a can and tell me it doesn't smell good. Go on, I dare you.
5. Adding cheese to it makes it doubly delicious. Cheese makes everything better. So when you add cheese to an already terrific soup, it makes it delicious squared.
6. Speaking of cheese, tell me what other soup you can dip grilled cheese into without making it tasting like old socks. (Take THAT, clam chowder!)
7. Most soups use garlic and onions that make your breath smell terrible. Tomato soup makes your breath smell like tomatoes. How is that a bad thing?
8. Willy Wonka put it in his gum. Only the best soup can have the honor of being made into gum by Mr. Wonka, and that soup is tomato.
9. It has the perfect consistency. Not runny like broth, but not thick like chowders. Perfect.
10. It doesn't ask anything of you. It doesn't play games like being "super chunky" or using shaped noodles. It is what it is, and it's amazing.
From crazycores: As I was peacefully cruising through SparkLife, I saw something that made my heart stop and brought tears to my eyes. I also may have developed a slight twitch. You would have too, if you saw that somebody hated tomato soup. After reading the post through my tears of angst, I decided: I WILL GLADLY TAKE THAT CHALLENGE, MaidenWarrior, and I totally have to take a stand against your ghastly opinion on tomato soup-y goodness. So, without further ado, here are my top 8 reasons why tomato soup is basically red awesomesauce.
1. Who doesn’t like ketchup? And when you think about it, ketchup is usually warm when it's eaten. Hot hamburger+ ketchup=warm ketchup. Hot hotdog+ketchup=warm ketchup. Fresh-out-of-the-oven fries+ketchup= WARM KETCHUP. Are you catching my gist here, people?
2. The sauce is the best freakin’ part of the pizza (besides the cheese, I guess. But still.)
3. I’m pretty sure that the last resort food is actually split pea soup. ‘Nuff said.
4. It fills you up with happiness and unicorns. And also, vitamins. Do you want to get scurvy, people? I think not.
5. Chunks are gross. Puke has chunks in it, and so do vampires, probably. Why would you want chunks in your soup?
6. Crackers are just sad bits of cardboard until you immerse them in the warm delicious goodness that is TOMATO SOUP.
7. My tomato soup will TAKE your cream of broccoli.
8. It has two extra chromosomes.
From roar_y: While I respect that not everyone can appreciate how great tomato soup is *cough MAIDEN WARRIOR cough*, I am here to defend that delicious crimson meal. SO EAT IT. Literally.
1. Tomatoes are like a mysterious ninja food. Is it a fruit or a vegetable? What’s that? It’s a fruit? LIES. It is a…fruivegetable.
2. You can dip stuff in it, like grilled cheese. If you hate grilled cheese, you also must hate walruses, and not even axe murderers hate walruses.
3. You can multitask while drinking the soup if you have a really long straw. People who multitask while drinking tomato soup win at life.
4. It’s not just for eating, folks. If you or your pet platypus gets skunked, tomato soup will get that smell right off of you.
5. Tomato soup doesn’t go bad for a really long time. So if the zombie apocalypse comes and you’re stuck in the cellar, guess what yumminess you have to eat? TOMATO SOUP. Keep that strength up.
6. Also, it has been proven that zombies are 40% less likely to eat you if you eat tomato soup on a regular basis. Do you want to be a mindless brain-eater and hate the magical tomato soup? Fine. You fail at life, then.
7. People who dislike tomato soup also dislike the number 11. 11 is a really cool number, folks. And discrimination is uncool, yo. *stares disapprovingly*
From Katt223: No offense to Maiden Warrior, but tomato soup is one of my favorite soups. I could eat it every day if I had to! Here's why:
1. I am a vegetarian. If I want soup, tomato soup is my go-to meal. Tomato soup appeals to a wider set than meaty soups do. Vegetarians are awesome, and they like tomato soup. Or at least I do.
2. Tomato soup is American. Do you have any sense of patriotism? Tomatoes, along with a host of other fruits and vegetables, started out in America. If you're an American, tomato soup is your thing.
3. Tomato can be pronounced to-MAY-to or to-MAH-to. That adds some automatic win points.
4. Tomato soup is awesomesauce. If you look on the ingredients list of your bottle of awesomesauce, it says, "INGREDIENTS: TOMATO SOUP."
5. Tomato soup tastes good. I bet Dan Bergstein likes tomato soup.
From flyergirl13: Okay, I might not be the best person to be writing this. Why, you ask? Oh, because I have never tasted tomato soup in my life. Yep. That's right. You may all complain about my deprived (or not?) childhood, and I will pretend to listen while I continue this post. However, I love two things. I love to argue with people, and I love a challenge. I couldn't resist Maiden Warrior's dare to find 10 reasons to like tomato soup. So, for the purposes of this post, I love tomato soup. Don't argue. You won't win.
1. I like tomatoes. And soup. It's simple algebra: tomatoes = good. soup = good. Therefore, tomatoes + soup = good.
2. I once drank some tomato sauce straight from the pot. It was pretty good. I'm guessing tomato soup tastes kinda like that.
3. You can dip your hands in it and tell people you don't like that you just murdered someone. They'll stay far away. Problem solved.
4. It looks like lava. I've always wanted to taste lava.
5. Or, for your science fair project, you could throw it in the air and tell your teacher that it's a volcano.
6. It's really thick. You could use it as finger paint if you wanted.
7. Tomatoes are healthy. They have antioxidants. That means that there is no high fructose corn syrup. Which, we all know, is the spawn of the devil.
8. You should eat tomato soup. All the cool kids are doing it. This is peer pressure.
Are you convinced? Good, you should be. Now, I'm off to the store to buy some tomato soup and find out if I'm right. I'm sure I will be. Farewell.
Is the Great Tomato Soup Debate over, or has it just begun? Tell us in the comments!
Related post: 10 Reasons I Hate Tomato Soup