In a perfect world, you would be able to eat whatever you want in front of your crush (or anyone you're trying to impress) without worries of being judged or projectile vomiting into his front pocket. But let's get real: Raisins look like rabbit poop, garlic makes you un-smoochable, and just thinking about fish sticks dipped in chocolate makes us want to barf, so imagine what your crush will do if he has to watch your gross-food habit live in concert. If you want to be classy, avoid the following foods. At least when you're in pre-relationship flirt-mode. Once the person really gets to know (and love) the real you, go ahead and eat so many Cheetos that you turn into a giant orange flake.
- Spaghetti. That was only cute in Lady and the Tramp. In reality, it's a potentially awkward mess. Sauce be flyin'.
- Chili. Even if you don't fart, he might. And if nobody farts, both of you will constantly be thinking about it.
- Hot dogs. But that's only if you also say, "Hot dog! Hot diggity-dog!" after anything semi-exciting he says.
- Baby food. Being on the baby food diet is too weird for anyone to know about it.
- Raisins. Like we said, they may be bunny droppings.
- Beef Jerky. It's impossible to have a flowing conversation when you're constantly tugging at a piece of meat with your teeth.
- Garlic stuffed in garlic bread covered in onion sauce. Eat that crap in private, please.
- Shellfish, peanuts, okra, or whatever the instigator of your last rash/strange skin swelling was.
- Peanut butter out of the jar. C'mon. Let's be classy for a sec.
- Pizza with chopsticks. Too confusing.
- Lutefisk. Actually, nobody should eat Lutefisk ever.
- Corn on the cob. When does that stuff not get stuck in your teeth?
- Prunes will remind him of his grandmother.
- Crush soda pop. Unless you want it to be glaringly obvious that you have a crush on him.
Do you have any embarrassing food disaster stories involving your crush? Has anyone actually barfed on his/her crush?
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