The Friday Awards

Emily Winter is off gallivanting around New Orleans today, which means Chelsea Dagger edited the Friday Awards. And sweated on them. A lot. —Sparkitors

Hello Sparklers! I, bad_hijab_day,  have come to this far planet on a mission. Everyone in HADS has spent a week on this mission. We have searched far and near, high and low, in order to bring you this week’s Friday Awards. It wasn’t easy, let me tell you. We often had to snatch comments from the mouth of the monster known as Gary. We had to search through endless fields of “BAM!”s and other variations of the word. We had to go on several rescue missions to find both HADS members and comments that had been stolen from us by Gary’s crew. We had to save delusional HADS members who were on sugar-highs from Halloween. But we are proud to have succeeded in this mission, and to present to you: the Friday Awards.

Okay, so we might have gotten a little too into writing (we blame it on NaNoWriMo). Let’s just move on to this week’s thing to think about: would you rather have a song or a book written for you?

And now, brought to your from the farthest stretches of Sparklife: The awards!

The Potter Reference Award goes to SummerEliza for this comment on My Most Embarrassing Moments, A Countdown: Number 1: I think this will make a great party story. Seriously, if you tell this story like it's the most hilarious thing ever- which it is- it will go over like Amelia Earhart across the Atlantic. Also, if Cynthia didn't think it was hilarious, she has no soul. Check for dementors hiding in the school newspaper classroom if this is the case. (Make sure to brush up on your Patronus charm beforehand. We don't want YOU kissed!)

The Amen, Sister Award goes to sarahthesaltedslug for this comment on Welcome to the New SparkLife:
Dear New SparkLife,
You have a direct link to Blogging Twilight. All is well with the world.
Love,
Slug

The It Still Doesn’t Compare to Beiber Award goes to maximumrandomness for this comment on the same post:
It’s weird...it’s like waking up and finding out that everybody likes justin bieber. it’s surreal. but im sure I’ll get used to it.

The Guess What’s On Our Netflix Queue? Award goes to Wyndmere for this comment on 15 Reasons Why George Knightley Is The Best Austen Hero:
Though I do very much agree that George Knightly is all around awesome, I have to disagree with you on him bring the ultimate Austen hero. That title belongs to Colonel Brandon. He's sweet, patient, understanding, tolerant, faithful, kind, awesome, amazing, caring.... I could go on but I'd have to get out my thesaurus. And Snape plays him in the Sense & Sensibility movie, what's not to love?!

The Cruel And Unusual Punishment Award goes to MaidenWarrior for this comment on How To Survive A Day At School If You're A Geek:
Speaking of Spanish, my teacher routinely tells us to call him fat and ugly. He almost made a girl cry:
"Now, how do you say that your teacher is short?"
"Mi profesor esta bajo."
"Good. Now say he's fat."
"No, I can't!"
"Yes you can! Say, Mr. S esta gordo."
"No! I can't do that! That's mean!"
"Go ahead."
"No!!!!" (Almost crying)
He slips that into worksheets, too.
He loves messing with us like that.

The It Happens in Harry Potter, It’s Not Weird Award goes to QuestionToTheWorld for this comment on Embarrassing Childhood Fears :I used to be scared of pictures hanging on the wall because I thought the people in them were watching me. Weird, huh?

The I Just Laughed So Hard My Pocket-Protector Fell Off Award goes to kyrsteniopsis for this comment on How to Survive Your Fashion Disaster: I've had this happen to me before though. Usually, I just stand tall and think, "It could be worse. I could have added that pocket-protector."

The Physics: Saving Felines Since 2010 Award goes to Bit_ for this comment on Auntie Sparknotes: See You Later, Mastulator: Actually, I don't think that baseball bat is long enough to hit the cat. The point is still clear, however.

The We Want You To Give Our Eulogies Award goes to BlueBox1292 for this comment on Blogging Wuthering Heights Part 17:
Like all good things, the knife-gun was short-lived.
It came and went like gravy through a stocking, leaving a path of blood and destruction in its wake.
Like Obi-Wan and Dumbledore, it passed on when its job was done.
We will forever remember the unspeakable awesomesauce violence of the knife-gun.
RIP (Rest in Pieces)

The No Friday Award for You Because You Asked Friday Award goes to azn4life333 for this comment on What Makes a Date a Date: yeah dates are pretty awesome. not to mention tasty. You know, even your date could be tasty, especially if you like dates. but what if your date didn't like dates, but liked dates? And I think it's a date when an actual date is mentioned, but not a date. Then there's historical dates....all 5 of them!
Confused? Yes. Friday award? YES!

The What Happened to Dogs? Award goes to tumtumtree and Feathery_Snidget for these cat prejudiced comments on Why Sparklers Will Survive the Apocalypse:
tumtumtree: may I bring my cat?
Feathery_Snidget: Of course you may bring your cat. I shall be bringing my cat. Space needs cats.

The When Pigs Fly Award goes to accio_doublestuff for this comment on Megan's Life Lessons: How To Be Significantly More Epic Than You Currently Are: I really hope that the word "epic" never becomes significantly uncool, the way "groovy" and "far out" have become lame over time. The day the word "epic" is no longer epic will be a day I mourn forever.

LOL Points go to…

ashmeadow for her comment on Auntie SparkNotes: Someone Has Dumped You On Facebook: If I had to be dumped, I'd prefer to be dumped by singing telegram. It's just seems so much happier, and the person would have put thought and money into it.

Skaterfish for this comment on Embarrassing Childhood Fears: I was legitimately afraid of escalators when I was little. You know the red caution lines painted on the edges of the steps? My dad told me it was the blood of children who goofed around on the escalator. Come to think of it, I'm still kind of afraid of escalator. I always feel like I'm going to fall.

Apocalyn87 for her comment on on The 5 Most Dangerous Halloween Costumes: Oh, one Halloween I was dressed in Santa's Evil Twin (a skull mask and a santa hat, might I say low-budget?). My friends like to SPRINT door-to-door, and the mask was just a little too big for me. The sidewalks were uneven, there was rain, and guess what happened? I tripped and face-planted into a TREE. So from then on I was just Santa in black.

summerlovin625 on the same post: Isn't being a mime more dangerous? If you get lost, you can't even call for help. All you can do is make useless hand gestures.

CrayonsPink for this comment on Megan's Life Lessons: How To Be Significantly More Epic Than You Currently Are: The first time I saw the paperclip, though, it looked like a pad was on fire. I mean, I hate that time of the month as much as the next girl, but come on...

The gummybeararmygeneral Sparkler of the Week Award goes to the only three people who guessed her costume correctly: nycomic56, NightOwlGirl14, and 8blue_jay8. Gummybeararmygeneral was indeed a doll. She wanted to include a picture, but she hasn’t had time to upload her pictures from Halloween yet. Sorry!

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