Blogging Wuthering Heights: Part 18

By Contributor

November 5, 2010

Coffinmaker picks out his own photos. This one made us giggle. —Sparkitors

Chapters XVIII-XX

Nelly says these next few years are the happiest of her life. Well good, Nelly, I'm really glad you're happy. Because you probably didn't see the knife-gun's life essence depart from it as it exploded into a billion pieces that spread across the galaxy, bringing health and bullets upon all the planets it visited.

Anyway, before we continue with the story, I feel like we need a refresher course. This book is getting more and more confusing with now TWO characters named Cathy, one named Edgar Linton and one named Linton Heathcliff, and another named Heathcliff, and another named Hareton, and another named Hindley (who's dead).

So here's an illustrated schematic I drew just for you, starting out from the beginning of the two families:

Cathy's daughter Cathy is a lot like her mother—headstrong, but not as violent, and more curious. Edgar is incredibly protective of her, so before the age of 13 the only place outside of her home that she's ever been is church.

Edgar obviously doesn't want his daughter to ever know of Heathcliff or Wuthering Heights or that whole mess with his wife, but she's too curious to be chained in. One day she goes missing and Nelly finds her, hours later, at Wuthering Heights. Thankfully, she didn't run into Heathcliff, but she did meet her cousin Hareton and seems to have spellbound him. Nelly brings Cathy back, scolding her.

At this time, Izzy has died and left her son without a guardian. Edgar goes to fetch him, but fears that Heathcliff—who has the legal right to the child—will take the boy to his home.

Izzy's son, Linton, is now roughly 13 but acts like a 5-year-old. He's pouty and only a little stronger than a baby. He cries a lot and probably wears Pull-Ups at night. Nelly has no idea how he'll last if Heathcliff takes him, but she doesn't have time to speculate because who should kick down the door with his Bible Boots but Joseph, the Testament-Thumping Powerhouse of ignorance and hard-to-understand Yorkshire accents!

He says he "mun tak away the lad," and Nelly says the engines, they canna tak any more. She and Edgar appease Joseph by telling him that they'll bring the boy to Wuthering Heights in the morning.

The next day, Nelly takes a disgruntled Linton—who is just beginning to like Cathy and his uncle—to his new home, which doesn't suit the boy at all. Heathcliff starts off their meeting by declaring that, yes, his son, is a "whey-faced, whining wretch!" Which probably means that he won't be buying him a bouncy swing anytime soon.

Heathcliff seems to want to be nice to his son, though, because when he dies Linton will be the heir to Wuthering Heights. If Linton doesn't live, however, Hareton will be next in line for the estate, and Heathcliff doesn't want that happening. Which strikes me as silly, since he'll be dead.

Linton notices Nelly trying to sneak out, and throws a fit. But Nelly just hurries away, sad, and heads back to the Grange.

Smeyer's thoughts after reading this chapter: Smeyer decides that after she dies, she doesn't want Dan Bergstein to become a bestseller, so she transfers her Mass Vampire Fiction Addiction (TM) powers into her son, who is called Son of Smeyer. He singlehandedly launches a new and completely original series about vampire romance.

My thoughts after reading this chapter: I want a bouncy swing.

In the next chapters: More confusion, I suspect. Soon there'll come in another person named Nelly.
Nelly: Mr. Linton, I'd like you to meet my cousin, Nelly.
Linton: Whoa, Nelly—you mean this Nelly is a Nelly too?
(Knock at the door.)
Plumber: Excuse me? I heard you guys here at the Grange had some plumbing problems?
Linton: Oh, yes, come in, Mr...Heathcliff...
Heathcliff the Plumber: Oh, not Heathcliff the Gypsy, obviously. Hehe. Heathcliff the Plumber at your service.
(Knock at the door.)
Linton: Hey, it's my cousin, who does not read or write, Emily Bronte!