What Your Handwriting Says About You
How quickly daft jumping zebras vex!
No, we have not gone crazy. That sentence is a pangram—a phrase that contains every letter of the alphabet—and we want you to write it down, so we can analyze your handwriting. Of course, the phrase also benefits from being true, because insane zebras would probably vex you pretty quickly.
(Disclaimer: At SparkNotes Detective School, we failed Handwriting Analysis so badly and so repeatedly that is is illegal for us to even say "handwriting," so if these analyses are wrong, or if the FBI should ask, this post has been for entertainment purposes only. If we are somehow correct, we are not liable for any realizations about your own lunacy.)
All-caps printing is a favorite of engineers and people who yell on the internet. You like engineering, but you hate the internet. You are in love with math, but lately you've worried that you're the only one working at the relationship.
Small, neat cursive
You are friendly, but a little controlling. Your favorite writing is cursive, but your least favorite speech is cursing. Your mom is a swell lady.
Big, loopy cursive
You are a girl. You like some things and dislike some different things, but the primary thing about these things is that you are a girl.
Small, neat print
Using small, neat print indicates that you are a small, neat person. You are responsible, and rarely late, but prone to fussiness. You detest large, lazy people. You have never been married, and out of all the music in the world, you like some of it.
Print or cursive with very long descenders
According to this episode guide from the 1990s TV show The X-Files that we literally have, long descenders indicate latent psychic ability. Having failed out of Handwriting Analysis repeatedly, we can only assume that this is, in fact, the case. Go use your psychic powers, we guess.
You did not pay attention and you typed the sentence, possibly because you were afraid of what your handwriting might reveal. You are secretive. Your favorite animal is Doctor Doom, who is actually just a supervillain and not an animal at all. You refuse to play by the rules. You know what? Have it your way. We're done here.
Super-slanty print or cursive
You have very strong feelings about whatever you're writing, even if it's just about vexing zebras. Your favorite vacation is to a place where you get to be as slanty as your writing. Your least favorite vacation is to Arkansas, because what's in Arkansas? Nothing, that's what.
Completely immaculate cursive
There is absolutely no difference between textbook cursive and your cursive, which you spend ten minutes composing. Your favorite thing is to be exactly correct. You dislike people who rush you, as well as tons of other things. You appreciate the work of Michelangelo, and not the ninja turtle one.
You tore through the paper
Whatever your writing style, you wrote emphatically enough that you tore through to another page. Your favorite pen grip is a clenched fist, white-knuckled with the unbridled fury you apply to your writing. Your least favorite thing is everything. The most dangerous object in your room is you. We are afraid of you and are going to suddenly terminate this article and flee to somewhere safer.
What's your handwriting like?
Related Post: Check Out Your Handwriting