The CORRECT Way To Eat An Oreo
flyergirl13 is a one of the greatest philosophical minds of our time. Socrates ain't got nothin' on her.—Sparkitors
Today's specimen is a micro-organism so small that you can only fit approximately twelve in one hand at once (yes, I have tried this). It is circular. And black. And white. Can you guess what it is?
Yeah, it's an Oreo. Way to cheat by looking at the post title. I understand that the correct way to eat an Oreo a controversial topic, and I apologize in advance for any offense I may cause by stating my personal opinion as cold, hard fact. Which it, of course, is. Do not dispute this.
And now, a short history lesson:
Oreos are extremely important to the evolution of humankind. Contrary to popular belief, Adam and Eve were kicked out of the Garden of Eden for eating Oreos from the Tree of Knowledge, not apples (who really cares about apples?). And if you look closely, you can see the Mona Lisa holding an Oreo while she poses for Leonardo da Vinci. George Washington was definitely eating Oreos while he crossed the Delaware, and some historians (me) believe the cookie was a pivotal factor in the American victory of the Revolutionary War. The delicious treat is scattered across the pages of history, and now it is our turn to write its story.
How do YOU eat your Oreos? Do you eat the cookie first, then the cream? Or maybe stuff it in your mouth all at once? Perhaps you eat the cream, then throw the cookie out. Or eat the cookie, then throw the cream out (Oh, please, no!). Well, you’re doing it wrong. There is only one correct way to eat an Oreo: my way.
P.S. If you are enlightened by this guide, but stubbornly refuse to correct your eating methods, I will personally remove all the creams from any box of Oreos you buy. You will be cursed for life to eat only the cookie part. So, reconsider your rebellion!
Flyergirl’s Five Easy and CORRECT Steps to Eating An Oreo:
1. Get Double-Stuf Oreos. They’re the only kind of Oreo worth eating.
2. Start with two whole cookies. Remove the top layer from each.
3. Eat the removed layers.
4. Smoosh the remaining parts together to form a monster Oreo. Eat it.
5. If you're good, you can do this with even more cookies. My record is 13. Can you beat it? No, you can’t. Don’t even try.
We tried. We failed. But we're gonna try again, that much you can be sure of. So, how DO you eat your Oreos?
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