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Interview With A Sparkler: Round "Further Evidence That Sparklers Are Better Than Everyone Else"

Interview With A Sparkler: Round "Further Evidence That Sparklers Are Better Than Everyone Else"

FANTASTIC NEWS, SPARKLERS: It's almost Halloween. And you know what that means, right?!

Yeah, neither do we. But we're 97.8% sure that it has something to do with marshmallow pumpkins, and in that case: WE'RE ALL IN. The only thing we enjoy more than stuffing 57 of these into our mouths (and yes, that is a world record, in case you were wondering) is reading your answers to each week's interview question. But before we dunk you headfirst into a tub of the greatest comments the world has ever seen (it'll be like bobbing for apples, but not nearly as unsanitary and spitty), let's take a quick break for BIRTHDAY SHOUT-OUTS!!!
annuiscoeptis: October 11
dandelionwinter: October 21
Helena3191: October 22
A.K.A101: October 25
Fyera: October 26
DazedInLife10: October 26
Rumbleroar2: October 27
Katt223’s mom: October 31
Katt223's sister: November 2
tickled_fuschia: November 1
EdibleEmily: October 31
kmworth824: November 30
love_food_freak: YOU DIDN'T TELL US THE DATE.

And now, the main event: your answers to last week's questionWhat's your favorite thing about yourself?

maximumrandomness: hmm. i would say the favorite thing about myself would be: my ability to fail at life.

charmedgiirl14: My ability to tell awesome jokes:
~Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Fo'drizzle!!
~What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto!!
~A magician was driving down a road, then he turned into a drive-way

houseelfliberationfront: My favourite thing about me is my ability to relate anything to Harry Potter. EVERYTHING I TELL YOU, EVERYTHING!!

blinkychick369: I'm such a freaking babe that it automatically makes me a good/funny/smart person. I'm also humble...

englishperson103: my nostrils flare when I laugh. yep. it's pretty cool.

liveloveanimals: Way to keep the vampires from answering this question! They can't look in a mirror. Ha! Yay for Chelsea Dagger!

midnight_masquerade: hmmmm..... i would have to say my favorite thing would be my ability to control my army of robotic chipmunks. i mean, it takes a lot of muscle and mind-power to get them to do whatever you want, right? also, my uncanny ability to make up stories involving evil mice, robotic chipmunks, and mind-reading squirrels. because then my teacher mentions them in class. and it makes the cute guy 2 seats over grin and look at me like... wow, SHE wrote that? i think i'll make her pizza bagels. (sadly, the pizza bagels havent happened... yet.)

chocoluvschips: I am extremely focused! I can focus for just about anythi-ooh! A new Dan blog! What do you mean there are no words for this?!!! Why, Dan, why??!! Oh right, what was I saying? Oh yeah. I can focu-ooh! There's a hole in my left sock! Why is there a hole there??? Why?! My toe is cold! Anyways... my attention span is so amaz-sparkles! Yes, there are sparkles on my desk! Isn't that funny? Since I'm on Sparklife and all? What? You don't get it? Stop staring at me like that!

AttackOfTheNargles: my favorite thing about myself would have to be my capacity to re-read harry potter over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.

sgtpepper191: My favorite thing about myself is my ability to laugh at myself. And to make a mean grilled ham and cheese sandwich. And, on rare occasions, to laugh at myself WHILE I make a mean grilled ham and cheese sandwich. (But I can't laugh too hard or for too long in that circumstance, or I could end up burning it.)

blacktophat: This relates to my not-so-secret superpower.
My thumbs. They're tiny, stubby and adorable. I used to hate them, but I've learned to love them. Here's a list of reasons why I love them:
1. I can laugh at people when I tell them I lost the top half of my thumbs in a table saw accident.
2. They make people laugh.
3. They make typing easier sometimes.
4. I killed a man. With this thumb. (Ratatouille reference!)

Clumsy.Is.The.New.Black: When I look in the mirror, I LOVE my.............
LASER VISION! Yes, you heard (read) me right. I have laser vision. I cut pizza perfectly everytime. It also helps me to intimidate children I babysit. I say, "Children, look! I can do this to your DOLLY!" Bzzzzzzzzzzz(that's my laser vision noises)zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Works like a charm.

annuiscoeptis: My favorite thing about myself is my ability to multitask. Can anybody else fight off thirty Justin Biebers while dancing the Charleston in high-heeled character tap shoes? Or can anybody wield ninja swords with kung-fu awesomeness while flipping pancakes? Or do you know someone who can imitate Abraham Lincoln while belting out "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" for the KFC three blocks away? I bet you can't do this: read SparkNotes while studying for a Bio test and still get a 103. What now. Next time, I'm hosting a rave and balancing my checkbook. Chelsea Dagger, you're invited. So's Dan. This is one awesome party.

dumdumwantsgumgum: the best thing about myself...hmmm...well i'm perfect in EVERY WAY and EVERYONE loves me...ooh!!!i Know! i'm the humblest and smarterest people i KNOW!

ZoeiGirl: I would have to say my uncanny taste buds. I get weird looks when I mix my soda flavors, put candy on my pizza, and fit all the thanksgiving left-overs into one sandwich.

runxbabyxrun: My favorite thing about myself? I am the best arguer you will ever meet. If you disagree with me, I will argue you into silence. I will refute every argument. with my amazing wit, my bombastic fasciousness, and my overall epicness, I could pretty much rewrite foreign policy with my mere words. What, you disagree...I just beat you in that argument. And the rebuttal you just thought of. Plus, My thick crazy wavy hair is straight today, which makes me happy.

Dumbledore21: I would say hair eyes face fingers toes fingernails toenails body feet hands sarcasm awesomesauciness gum-chewing abilities chapstick addiction and ABS, but I'm going to be modest, so here goes:
*sad violin music plays in the background* Oh, I must choose something that I like about myself? Oh, if only there was such a thing! For I only wish I could have one quality of which I am proud of, not a thousand flaws that can never be fixed. Not only that, I wish i could have everything, like a certain Chelsea Dagger I know *hinthintwink* who, despite her sweat, is the most perfect being on this earth! That is all.

amazinggrace7: I am exceedingly porud of my nerdiness. No one else I know can do an evil laugh in iambic pentametre. mawahahahaha.

wyverndragon: My awesomesauce ninja skillz, and the little voices in my head. And my ability to spew Monty Python quotes like some people spew... other stuff.

Mysterious2012: My favorite thing about myself would have to be my ability to be nearly invisible. No, serious. I could be standing next to you and you would not even NOTICE. This happens a lot to me. I will be in one room doing blah blah, and then move to the other room and no one would know. It gets pretty funny too. Like, when I went shopping with my mom some five months ago (socially deprived) I would either walk next to her or behind her observing the area. She would then freak out because she would not notice I was with her till I said something. It would go something like this:
Mom (pushing shopping cart): "That's a cute coat, hey want do you think -"
Mom (looks around)
Mom (freaking out): "OH MY GOD!!! Where? Where is - !?!?"
Me: "Mom, I'm right behind you."
Mom: "My GOD! Please, don't do that!"
Me: "Do what? This?" (Disappears)
Mom (annoyed): "Yes, NOT doing that again would be helpful."

facepalm27: That would have to be my ability to be a perfectly normally functioning human being until someone says two words to me. Because, then my superpower of COMPLETE LOSERTUDE emerges, making me twitch awkwardly and reducing my vocabulary to a few select word such as spork, loam, and, moist.
Trust me, it's HOT.

MushroomLunchbox: When I scrolled through the comments, all I could find was people writing things about Mys Elf. I thought, who is this Mys Elf you speak of? Does he wear a little green hat and curly shoes? Does he bake cookies inside a hollow tree? Then I realized... that if you baked cookies inside a hollow tree, it would probably be a fire hazard.

mysteriousgrl17: I just asked my grandma, and she said that I should say everything about myself because I am super special. Also, she said I need to get off the fancy VCR and call her more often.

twinkletoes_23: Oh, easy. My feet. More specifically, my toes.
"WHAT?" You are saying. "How can anyone's favorite trait possibly be their feet? Those things be nasty!" Well I will tell you dear sparklers... I have special feet. For starters, my toes are so long the could masquerade as fingers. While most of the world's longest toe is the first or second, the longest toe on both of my feet is the third one. Yes. I have mutant feet. And I love them.

locoproxi: 1. i am me
2. i am chelsea dagger
3. i am a ninja (yes be jealous)
4.i am chuck norris eating awesomesauce
5. my banana phone (boo boo bi doo bi doop) is purple with a p.O.ed winnie the pooh sticker onthe back
6. i am married to dan (yes i am ... SHUT UP .. one can dream right?)

travelgirl53: my favorite thing about me is that i MADE IT ONTO THE LIST. which i assume means that chelsea dagger is going to modify the space time continuum so i can actually BECOME jacob black and get dan's pizza bagels! meaning that my new favorite thing about me will be the lovely pizza sauce stain that inevitably gets on my shirt. OH NO WAIT if im jacob, i dont wear a shirt. which means no stains ever again!! get. jealous.

Narnian_Nymph: I have the BEST stare. Ever. I could look straight at you and you would instantly know what I am thinking. I do it a lot. I made someone shut-up in class once so I could answer the question *heehee* I bet a could make someone cry if I tried...oh yah, I'm terribly cruel.

ESKan: It's not easy being this awesome and modest.
Kidding. I like about myself that I can talk myself out of anything.
Mom: Hey, I checked your wardrobe, and there were still some jeans in there even though you said there weren't!
Me: Ah, great. My past self came through yet again.
Mom: Well, I think you should... wait, who?
Me: My past self hides things behind other things so that when I've seemingly lost something, I always know where it is after all.
Mom: Well, that's just plain silly.
Me: Are you insulting me?

gravity no longer applies: I love my ability to kick some of my best friends in the face, and not feel guilty.(well most of the time)
Don't worry, I am a martial artist, not a savage.....
Or am I?

Ilera: I guess my favorite thing about me is how conceited and self-obsessed I am...and even that's not much. I'm pretty much useless in most ways. *sigh* There's not much good about me besides that. (My second favorite is my ability to invert anything, especially the droves of people making modesty jokes)

random_S_dancer: my uncanny ability to speak like lil wayne , withOUT a voice synthesizer. I don't think weezy himself can even do that.

minipinkelephant: my favorite thing... would probably be my ability to make anybody laugh just by finding the one thing in the room that I can trip over. or walk into. or step into and break my ankle, making me miss the soccer try-outs... grrr.... sorry where was I? oh yeah. wait... that's what I hate about myself.. crap.

abbycadabby8508: after much consideration it has come to my attention that I am in fact vaguely bemused by my ability to pen love limericks to the luscious Dan Bergstein at late hours when the last licks of twilight are wiggling there way out my window... *Ahem* and this is certainly not creepy at all I SWEAR!

lucy_stop_flying: My ability to see into the future and my amazing powers of flattery. *I sense that the fantabulous Chelsea Dagger (whose sweat problems are barely noticeable) will pick this comment for the next post. Because she is amazing and awesome and we all love her*

OpaquePlatelets: I can eat just one potato chip. And I always know when to use a semicolon.

GinnyPotter1: My favorite thing about me? Definitely that I'm a Sparkler. I mean, who wouldn't want to be witty, punny, and have a name that implies that they freaking sparkle??? Losers. That's who.

accio_doublestuff: Chelsea, I am writing to inform you of the awesome that is me. I have Cerebral Palsy.(Go look it up.) As a result, I have some amazing abilities.
-I have the ability to park in those fancy blue spaces (without getting a fine).
-I can get into national parks for free.
-I have mastered the serpentine maneuver using my power scooter... sort of. (There's a reason my power scooter is named The Toe Cruncher... Sorry Katie!)
-My ability to keep bullies at bay with my sheer awesomeness(and a visit from The Toe Cruncher)
-My Ninja Powers, which were acquired at the first mention of my name.
This is but a small portion of my awesomeness. It would take forever to write it all.

Autumnomnom: What is so great about me, you may ask. Go on, ask! Well, I am Chuck Norris's Daughter, Mitchell Davis's wife, the "twin" of a band geek (I'm a theatre girl myslef), and I wrote "42" as the answer to most of my questions on my World History Exam today and I got a "Good job!" and a thumbs up from my milion-year-old teacher for doing so. This is the reason why I am fanctabulazing (fantastic, fabulous, amazing, and FANCY). *Double thumbs up* OH, I almost forgot; my double-thumbs-up gives you ultimate powers for 24 hours. No refunds accepted.

icesk8rgrl0: I am wearing a koala hat right now. Nuf said.

Agent X: i can blink.with both eyes. at the same time. that is what makes me awesome.

IdealCards: Honest to truth, I quite like my superpowers- y'know, how I can do stuff like:
-procrastinate. Amazingly. (who can procrastinate like me? NO ONE!)
-read upside down.
-make my finger perpendicular to my hand (sounds fancy when you say it like that! in fact its just making a right angle with your finger and hand)
-get distracted by... oh hey, did you see that?
I have other superpowers, like mind-reading and flight, but those aren't as important.

super_deluxe: The best thing about me is that I already wrote a book called An Infinite List of Things That Are Good About Me (with an Introduction by Chelsea Dagger) and the publishers have to constantly keep publishing it because the list is infinite, so it keeps getting bigger. I published it on the Barnes & Noble thingy that Dan Bergstien (*COUGH*OMGIMINLOVEIWTHDANBERGSTEIN*COUGH*) wrote about a couple posts ago, before he wrote his fabulously awesome Halloween thingy. and mentioned T-Pain, which is unforgivable right now, because I SO JUST WROTE AN ESSAY ABOUT COMMON SENSE BY THOMAS PAINE AND I CALL HIM T-PAINE AND I DO.NOT.LIKEHIM.

Chabelinni: My favorite thing about myself is the ability to get distracted in class while not getting distracted.
(me thinking)
So, what am i doing today? Oh yeah, i'm going trick or treating! That reminds me of the epic battle I saw last year... what was it? Oh yeah, it was a Jack Sparrow and a Death eater... so, what was Snape really? was he in Goblet of Fire when the muggles where attacked? That reminds me that I have to check sparknotes today... there's a new think tank post... AND I'M IN PHI BETA DAGGER! I have to tell sauceit4ever... I mean Cata....

Teacher: Can you please tell me what is an analogy?
me: An analogy is two pairs of words that are somehow related to each other.
teacher: Give me an EXAMPLE of an analogy, please!
Me: Lightbulb is to lamp as power cord is to computer.
Teacher: That was a good one.

WOW. You guys sure are special. But now that we've made you feel all warm and fuzzy, we want to dredge up your horrifying, humiliating past. So tell us: what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?

Getting it out there in the open will make is 300 times less embarrassing, we promise. (Actually, it won't, but it WILL make the Sparkitors laugh, and that's really all that matters).

Topics: The Internets
Tags: sparklers, halloween, interview with a sparkler

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About the Author
Chelsea Dagger

Since 2010, Chelsea Dagger (known in real life as Chelsea Aaron) has been SparkLife's sweatiest editor. She's currently working on a how-to-kiss guide for teens, and when she's not conducting smooch-related research on her life-size Joseph Gordon-Levitt cardboard cutout, she's eating pancakes, stocking up on industrial-strength deodorant, and destroying everyone at Harry Potter trivia. (EXPECTO PATRONUM!)

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