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How to Write a Perfect Essay in Five Minutes

How to Write a Perfect Essay in Five Minutes

katee96 has got tips and tricks to turn you into an expert essayist. Try saying that 5 times fast. No, really. Try it. —Sparkitors

School has been in session for a few months now, and you're probably up to your knobby knees in character analyses and APUSH prompts. But have no fear— if you follow this foolproof guide, you’ll be cranking out A+ essays in no time!

Step 1: Pick a topic. Chances are you’ve already got a topic because your teacher assigned you one, but if you're responding to an open prompt, you'll have to choose a direction. It’s a good idea to pick something that you feel strongly about; the more passion you can put behind your writing, the better.

Step 2: Brainstorm. I just love that word. Doesn't it make you think of a thunderous, walloping storm with slimy brains blowing every which way in the wind? Well, it should. Now get out a sheet of paper and write down everything that comes to your mind when you think of your topic. You may want to include a bit of free writing in this step, and a rough outline, as well.

Step 3: Rough draft. BOO-YA! Who doesn’t love to rough draft? Oh wait, everyone. In fact, it can be pretty tempting to skip this step and launch straight into writing your essay. But don’t be an idiot. If you skip this step, it will take you 20 years to write your essay.

Step 4: Final Draft. Type out your rough draft, re-formatting and organizing it as you go. Make sure your thesis and topic sentences are all in place, and finish it off with a strong conclusion.

Step 5: Edit. And edit again. And again. And again. YOU CAN NEVER EDIT TOO MUCH. Don’t edit your essay all by yourself, either. Have your English teacher, French teacher, bus driver, check-out lady, Harry Potter, janitor, best friend, and worst enemy edit it. Eat, sleep, and breathe editing.  And then, when your paper is polished to perfection, hand it in. You've got an A coming your way, guaranteed.

Note: I may have been exaggerating the whole “five minutes” thing in the title to get you read this post. But you can prove nothing!

So maybe "How To Write a Perfect Essay in Roughly A Week'" would have been a better title, but these are great tips nonetheless!

Related post: How To Fake Your Way Through An Essay

Topics: Life
Tags: guides, writing, essays, essay prompts, editing

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