You're panicking. Halloween's less than one week away, and so far your costume options include Snooki and sexy hobo. Relax. There's no need to go out and buy a slinky dress or a $6,000 diamond-encrusted princess costume. In our opinion, the best costumes are not scary, slutty, or store-bought; they're punny. So focus on your candy selection (Skittles or Starburst?), and rest easy knowing you can pull off one of these standby wordplay costumes:
Get a group of your craziest friends together, don these printable panda masks, and create chaos everywhere you go. When someone asks what you are, moan while rubbing your belly like you've just eaten a delicious meal. Panda + moan + yum = Pandamonium.
Take a trash bag. Cut a hole in the bottom for your head and one on each side for your arms. Duct tape the letter T to the front.
Print a photo of Queen Elizabeth (I or II, doesn't matter). Tape it to a long string. Drag around the photo on the string all night.
Borrow a slip from your mom. Pin index cards labeled with terms like ID, EGO, SUPEREGO, DREAMS, and OEDIPUS COMPLEX on it.
Get all your friends to dress in green. When someone asks what you are, look menacing and say "Gang Green." Throw your sign.
So now that we've got the punny costume under control... Skittles or Starburst?
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