This post by TheWeirdWon makes us miss the good old days, when the weirdest thing about high school was the principal's collection of chewed gum. —Sparkitors
I was inspired to write this post by Jess2895, who recently revealed that she attends the most ridiculous school on earth. Hey, I'm not about to argue: her school really does take the cake. But mine ranks pretty high on the weird-o-meter, too, and here are the top 7 reasons why!
7. We're one big family. No, really: my Calculus teacher is married to an English teacher; their son teaches English, and their daughter-in-law teaches Reading. A Social Studies teacher is married to a Geometry teacher, and the main dance instructor is married to the main choral instructor—and their daughter teaches Algebra.
6. The sophomore US History teacher always dresses up for Homecoming. Now, when I say dresses up, I don’t mean in a tuxedo or a nice suit. No, I mean as a cheerleader. Every year, this gentleman dons a short skirt and all the trimmings—poms poms, knee socks, you name it—for homecoming. It's pretty impressive how well he wears the outfit, actually. Side note: Every Senior Week, he also takes the prize for Best Dancer in the teacher dance competition.
5. The sophomore English teacher takes "neat freak" to a whole new extreme. She keeps her classroom clean by sweeping, mopping, and wiping each desk down with a chlorine-based cleaning product every single day. She also has two books placed on each desk—a grammar book and a literature book. Each book must remain in its designated spot: the grammar book must be on top of the literature book in the top left-hand corner of the desk. If either book is out of the place, the teacher assigns detention to the person who moved it from that spot, unless it is open and in use at the time.
4. Our program administrator speaks in the third person, and he doesn't use pronouns. He always restates his own name or the name of the person he’s speaking to during a conversation. It's infuriating and hilarious at the same time.
3. One of the Social Studies teachers always tells his classes to remain as they are during fire, tornado, Code Yellow, and Code Red drills. He says that in his 45 years of teaching, there has never been a real fire, tornado, or Code, and he doesn’t think there ever will be. Therefore, there's no need to review procedures or interrupt his class with the drills. Clearly, he's not really operating under the old saying, "Safety first!"
2. The Spanish II/III teacher checks our pockets for cell phones before each test. That, in and of itself, isn’t strange… she just doesn’t want us to cheat. The way she does it, however, is the strange part. On test or quiz days, she makes us take our cell phones out of our pockets and put them in our book bags as soon as we walk through the door. But before she’ll hand anyone a test, she puts her hand in the pockets of any jackets/sweatshirt pockets we're wearing, just to make sure we aren't hiding any electronic devices. We all think it’s pretty funny, actually.
1. The Freshman World History teacher and the Freshman English teacher have epic Nerf battles at least once a month, and the battles get more elaborate each time (so far, we've seen Nerf rifles, Nerf Sabers, and Nerf machine guns). Each teacher appoints students to act as part of their “unit,” and they also recruit informants to spy on the enemy. Parents have complained, but the administration never does anything about it—probably because these two teachers account for the highest class scores on standardized testing in the entire school.
That Nerf war sounds AWESOME. Sign us up!