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The Five Stages of Procrastination

The Five Stages of Procrastination

By Contributor

CrazyistheNewCool is an expert procrastinator, but she's learned from her mistakes—and you can too! —Sparkitors

The words high school and college have become synonymous with one thing all students hate: homework. When homework is close, procrastinators can't be far behind. Read my list to see if you could be one of them—and if you already know you are, read it anyway. You can put off doing your calculus assignment for 10 more minutes, right?

Stage 1: Denial. This is a time filled with lame excuses. “I'm busy, uh, teaching my iguana to say the alphabet! Yeah, that's it. It's just this one time. I'll start my review in ten minutes. Pinky Promise.” Sure.

Stage 2: Bargaining. This is when your mad bartering skills come in handy. You refuse to admit defeat, and beg your teachers for just a few more days to complete an assignment that was due a week ago. Keep in mind that sometimes the sentence, "Ms. Eklehopper, you're looking lovely today. Can I turn in my book report in February?" works, while other times it fails miserably. Actually, it's pretty much guaranteed to get you detention.

Stage 3: Anger. This can be a vicious stage, in which you may find yourself blaming someone else for your mistakes.
You: It's your fault that I didn't finish my 5 page review! All. Your. Fault!
Them: What? How?! I was the one who reminded you about it at school!
You: Yes, but you also said my iguana seemed a little tired, which I interpreted as "uneducated," so I had to teach him the alphabet! Do you have any idea how long that took? Like I would have time for homework after THAT. You should be ashamed of yourself! I hate you with the burning passion of a thousand suns!

Stage 4: Depression and/or Desperation. This is the stage where you suffer a complete mental break. You will probably eat 20 bags of Doritos, weep profusely, and lift your hands to the heavens as you cry ,"Why, Ms. Eklehopper, why? Why must you torture me so?!”

And finally, Stage 5: Acceptance. Something clicks and you instantly think, “Oh, it's not so bad. I'll just do an extra credit assignment or something. Yeah. Then things will be all kinds of happiness and lollipops. Maybe Ms. Eklehopper even likes talking iguanas.”

But be warned, this stage sets a dangerous precedent. A pattern starts to form, and before you know it, you procrastinate all the time. In fact, you haven't done your laundry for more than two weeks. You fiend! What ever will you wear? Now that you've faced the music, you recognize that changes must be made. Your first step? Fall to the ground in hopeless despair. Next? Get up out of the fetal position. It's actually quite simple to turn yourself around. Start a planner, a desk calendar, or a homework contract with your friends. Write down due dates and reward yourself for finishing an assignment on time. Stay organized, and motivate yourself in whatever way you can. Seriously, do yourself (and your teachers!) a favor by turning in everything on time. Just think, with all of your stress gone, you'll have more time to do awesome things...like read SparkLife!

Any recovering procrastinators out there? How do you make sure you complete your work on time?

Related post: How To Stop Procrastinating

Topics: School
Tags: teachers, homework, high school, procrastination

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