My Crush is Chip Skylark

aleyna22, we had pretty much decided to marry this animated guy, but you may have just changed our minds!—Sparkitors

Admit it: You wish your parents were more like Timmy Turner's, you think Danny Phantom is one smokin’ hot ghost, and you watch the Jimmy Nuetron credits just to see that amazing three-eyed monkey that says, “Hai, I’m Paul!” So what am I getting at, you ask? That cartoons are pretty stinking swell, is what. And on that note, let me tell you all a story: the other day I woke up and The Fairly Odd Parents was on, and then I fell deeply and madly in love. Okay. That was more of a sentence. Whatever. But you know who I fell in love with? Mr. Crocker, that spicy hunk of computer-generated deliciousness.

JUST KIDDING. When I tuned into the show that Saturday morning, Timmy and Co. were filming a music video with none other than—drumroll please—Chip Skylark! I love Chip Skylark, and I firmly believe that everyone else in all the 195 countries of the world should too. Before you try to escort me to a place with pretty padded walls, hear me out! This is why you should—AHEM—will love Chip Skylark too!

His voice is better than Justin Bieber’s. And so is everyone else's, you say. But Chippy's voice is even better than SpongeBob’s, so you know he’s gotta be good.

If you shave off his little goatee thing, he looks similar to Danny Phantom. And everyone knows Danny Phantom is the sexiest cartoon ever created. Need I say more? I’ll just buy Chip a razor for Christmas— problem solved!

His songs are so daggum catchy. I am not ashamed to have “My Shiny Teeth And Me” on my iPod.

His ear isn’t on his neck. I think this one is pretty much self-explanatory, no?

His hat isn’t pink. Real men do not wear pink, despite what the masses might say. Actually, I don’t know anyone who says that. But real men DO sing about their gorgeous teeth. Which brings me to my next point:

His teeth are extremely talented little fellows. Are your incisors capable of flexing their muscles in a way that puts Jacob Black to shame? Can your bicuspids sing, dance, and hang on a Christmas tree at the same time? Do your canines take leisurely bike rides with you on the weekends? If you answered all three questions in the affirmative, then congratulations—we’re getting married!

He can defy gravity. Sir Isaac Newton just got pwned. (What does that even mean? What does the "p" stand for? I don’t get it. 50 pirated Dan Points for the person who can explain this to me.) Have you seen Chip dance? It’s not really even dancing—he just kind of glides and flips around in midair. It’s wonderful. Michael Jackson would be proud, I believe.

Oh, did I mention he is Ron in A Very Potter Musical? Yep, you heard me correctly—unless you’re screaming with glee right now, which you probably should be—he’s Joey Richter, the man who plays Ronald Weasley in your favorite musical of all time. Told you you’d love Chip Skylark. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a wedding to plan.

He sounds like one dreamy cartoon character! Anybody else harboring a secret crush on Chip?

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