Your Relationships, As Illustrated by Phineas and Ferb

The Friday Awards

By Emily Winter

September 17, 2010

The SparkLife Week In Review:

This week, a Sparkler (*cough* 11sande) put bologna in her ears.

And a post about SparkLove brought us to tears.

GirlWhoWrites went shopping, and Ashley got a zit.

The VMAs were meh, unlike this familiar hit.

CoffinMaker disappeared to go star in a play,

(So wish him luck, it's opening day!)

Auntie really knows how to draw the back seat of a car,

There's a joke in there somewhere, but we're not going thar.

Never-been-kissed Faith may get her smooch yet,

(Friend me on Facebook to place your $1000 bet.)

And, muffinsarejustbetter, please give me your pup,

And in return, I'll... mail you a different pup, yup!

Now gather round, Sparklers, for our weekly time to resminisce,

Because of all the websites in all the internets, none are better than this.

Happy Uber-Belated Birthday to is this about my soul and Legit_Mrs_Darcy!

Happy Future Birthday to CherryCoke96!

Happy Belated Birthday to Brightorangepen, sweetiepie94, Spectacles_Not_Glasses, RentHeadedGleek, Readysetrosemary, GrEEkDAnCEr908, Driftingphoenix, Madeonmar, and ScrtShdwHntr!!!

Nickname of the Week goes to Has_no_life. Hooray!

We Can't Say "No" to a Good Potato Joke Points go to GrangerDanger99 for this comment on QUIZINATOR: Sparkler Series—Part 1!...

Like... Oh em gee. I'm like.. Jessica... What's your PROBLEM, Quizin-tater? See? You're so dumb, you're a potato. Ugh. Just, like, try to be normal. By the way, it's NATURALLY clean and shiny. Stupid potato.

Inaninimate LULZ Awards (for naming inanimate objects) to...

Eebyenoh for...

I haven't named my lovely little apple laptop yet, but I always kind of think of it as some kind of pet rodent. It makes sense: it's small and warm; I *really* wouldn't want to drop it; I love it very much most of the time, except when it's being slow and unresponsive to my commands; I have to "feed" it (plug it in); and it's actually pretty well-trained. I don't even have to clean up after it!

rainfire113 for...

There once was an iPod named Sky

Whose laptop friend, Floofy, loved pie.

And Calvin, the 'lator,

Met the cell phone, Textinator.

Please laugh at this poem, or I'll cry.

hlucero06 for...

I've named my iPod touch "The Titanic". That way, when I plug it in, it'll say "The Titanic is synching".

flyergirl13 for...

I like to name my word documents things like "the world" or "a present" so that it will say things like "microsoft is saving the world" or "microsoft is opening a present". It makes me crack up

congeniality10 for...

Be careful when nameing inanimate objects you can grow attched. It's a bad example because it's not inanimate but my friends and I named the spider that lived in my friend's locker Fred and one day her textbook fell over...and Fred ws no longer RIP.

thegirliscrafty for...

I have a pimple on my cheek called Archie. We're close friends, me and Archie. We go everywhere together. He annoys me sometimes, but he really is loyal. He sticks around through thick and thin.

Slytherin1992 for...

My iPod Classic is iPood Myself

My iPod Touch is iTouch Myself

My Laptop is Tim.

LOL Points to...

Lazy_gaga for this comment on Halo Isn't That Great...

Hahaha. My brother won't stop playing it. My mom got pissed and threatened to unplug it. And she's not kidding. She's done it before.

Dan, if you get the game, and play online, please kill my brother. Kill him a lot.

Fhalkyn for this comment on the same post...

Hey, Dan, have you tried rope? It's like string, only MANLIER!

(I think I misspelled "Manlier"...)

Spectacles_Not_Glasses for this comment on How to Survive High School, As Written By a Seventh Grader...

Actually if you imagine you are in a spy movie and that there are only 5 minutes until the bomb inside your English class explodes then it can make running through the hallways fun

Agent Double 0-0 Specs: *running* There are only 2 minutes until Dr. Doof blows up the entire city run faster Agent P!
Friend: *running* Who's Agent P?! And why are we wearing these hats?! And I thought we were going to Mrs. Smith's class?!
Agent Specs: *runs out of breath* You know what? This isn't as fun as I thought would be.

loonylovegood15 for this comment on VMAs Recap: Passive Aggression and Bieber on Drums...

*coversation that went on in the car while my Dad was driving me to school*

Dad: I read in the news today that there was an award show yesterday.

Me: Oh, yeah, that. I didn't watch it.

Dad: There was a person named "lady Gaga" *say this in a weird way, seeing as my dad doesn't pay that much attention to pop media. Scratch that: ANY attention*

Me: Yup.

Dad: Apparently, she wore a dress made of MEAT! *says this in a surprised, "ohmygod this world is so weird" way*

Me: Really?!

Dad: Yup! I think it was made of cloth or something.

Me: oh. Well, that's a surprise.

Dad: I know! Who wears a meat themed costume?

Me: Oh, not that. The fact that it was fake. She would usually go all out and wear the real thing. Looks like her costume designer got lazy.

Dad: o_o

agentplatypus for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: The Pits of Despair...

I wonder how Auntie got Chelsea Dagger to pose for that picture?

JuniorInPink for this comment on The 5 Most Underrated Disney Heroines...

"She brings out the very best in people, and her unconditional love helped transform her boyfriend from a shaggy beast into a hot guy."

I agree with everything else you said about Belle. But I always saw her relationship with Beast as a classic case of Stockholm Syndrom.

thecanofsoup for this comment on What to Do When Your Mom Packs an Embarrassing Lunch...

Is that picture of beef barly soup suppose to be an embarrassing lunch? If my mom gave me that I wouldn't try to discreetly hide it under my jacket, I would wave it under my friends noses and laugh going HA HA THIS PWNS. Becasue that soup looks really good.

MargotMilevaZ for this comment on Auntie SparkNotes: Do Yew Tawlk Funneeee?...

At least southern accents are better than Appalachian ack-sents!

Crap, when I said that out loud before typing it I said accent with an Appalachian accent!

Seriously, would you rather hear the nice, polite, Southern y'all, or the cringe-inducing, Appalachian y'uns? I've lived in Appalachia all my life and I still don't know how that horrible, horrible word is pronounced!

Annnnd the Uncondensed Condensed Awards for bravery in literature (or something) to...

ESKan for...

Lord of the Rings:

Gandalf: Frodo, this ring is evil and must be destroyed, and you, the youngest and most inexperienced of Halflings, together with a band of even younger and less experienced other Halflings, must do it.

Frodo: I can't just let a fish swallow it and let Sauron turn over the entire ocean to find that thing, can I?

Gandalf: No. The only egligible place is conveniently placed at the other side of the world map, forcing you to traverse entire Middle-Earth by foot for the sake of plot advancement.

Frodo: *travels and tosses ring in evil mountain*

Gandalf: Well, that wasn't so hard, wasn't it?

ClassicLife for...

My class had to read A Farewell To Arms over the summer. It could be condensed like this.

Henry: I'm an American. But I fight for Italy. Therefore, I'm basically the bomb. But I'm in the hospital alot, but the nurse is hot so its cool.

Catherine: I love you.

Henry: I love you.

Catherine: Do you really love me?

Henry: yes.

Catherine: Do you really love me?

Henry: yes.

Catherine: Do you really-

Henry: YES!

Catherine: I'll be a good girl. Oh, by the way, i'm pregnant.

Henry: Yay, lets go to Switzerland!

Ferguson:*worries*

Rinaldi:I'm Drunk

Catherine: Ahhh childbirth sucks! But I'm a good girl, right?

Henry: My kid and girlfriend just died. I'm going to walk home in the rain.

she_who_squeaks for...

Catcher in the Rye:

Holden: I'm an obviously intelligent but completely screwed up kid still dealing with emotional issues stemming from my little brother's death. (Angst angst curse swear angst). Let's see how I do in New York City by myself.

(Holden hangs out in New York. Various shennanigans involving prostitution, carousels, and obscene amounts of alcohol ensue).

Holden: Angst angst curse curse swear angsty angst.

nightshade5509 for...

I didn't really read this last year- I got an overview from my teacher. So...

Rime of the Ancient Mariner (Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

Mariner: SIT DOWN AND LISTEN TO MY STORY.

Random Wedding Guest: Okay.

Mariner: I killed an albatross and everyone died and then I wore it around my neck and then I was okay.

THE END

Or maybe The Scarlet Letter...

Hester: I have a kid!

Dimmesdale: I'm the dad even though I'm a pastor and I'm not going to say anything about it!